Jem's Blog (:

Time Alone

2012-02-07T03:38:00.001+08:00

Everybody needs a little time alone. As do I.

I complete my work and a lot of other stuff at 3.30am (now) so that I can keep up in school sometimes. I prefer to sleep late. I prefer to sacrifice physical well-being (and make it up over the weekend/some other way) than lose track in school. Unfortunately, today, Chem test was a slight wake-up call. Getting 16/29 was not too much of a shock. I hadn't studied. I was tired, both mentally and physically. I was in no right frame of mind (during Orientation 2012) to be taking a test at all. Somehow I pushed myself to finish it with 13 marks worth of mistakes. Never can I allow that to happen to me on a department quiz. Department quizzes are for aceing, not for throwing away.

This means I'm slipping. I know I'll catch up again. Once I set my focus to it. Once I clear Orientation, I will first BREATHE. Then I will get back to TOK essay and getting my studies back on track. Meaning revision, intense studying. Not playing on facebook trawling for videos and photos of groups going out having fun. That's for this week. It's serious stuff already, in Y6. I keep telling myself I don't want to end the year with lousy results; but I also don't want to end the year knowing I've done nothing but study. Discipline is what it takes, just a little. Computer on for an hour each day, 30mins for R&R, 30mins for admin/email. Work on the computer does not count, but no distractions should supersede the work I have.

If I sleep late, so be it...but I have to start sleeping early. Because I need to run and keep fit. Or GET fit rather, now I'm so unfit. NAPFA is important, but I have no wish to collapse whilst running 2.4km. It's possible, so I will have to condition my body back up to its physical optimum and give it enough rest. I will not slip anywhere. One thing I've gotten out of my way for now is SATs. I may opt to take them though, if I'm more free towards March/April. This is just to open up options, I don't plan to study in the US.

Getting serious about stuff so I can spend my fun time having fun. Twitter, after all, can still be used on the phone on the move. =) I have to keep myself focused on my end-goal, but never compromising sustaining strong friendships.

I have more things I want to say about life and council and friends and stuff. But I'll save that for a few days. Need my rest. 3.30am. Time to crash.

Yes I'm damn busy. But I make time for you all the time.
And yes I'm damn busy, but no excuse for slipping up in class.

Away

2012-01-31T02:17:00.002+08:00

It's 2am now. I have Chem Design IA 2 and World Lit Outline both open. I'm staring at them. Happy somewhat with the progress I've made. Upset I couldn't get more done.

Then again, I didn't want to remember spending Year 6 merely studying. There is more to Year 6 than that. Though I know as a junior I always thought IB was a treacherous area I'd never reach. Looked up to seniors wearing that IB tie and thinking, poor fella, busy all day studying and working his butt off.

And now here I am, at the top of it all. Giving myself some alone time. At 2am. But I'm glad I'm here.
This place is too cold for hell.

Or Maybe

2012-01-28T01:05:00.000+08:00

It's not so nice how I feel used at times.

It's not so nice how we drifted apart.

It's not so nice how sometimes investing time and friendship in juniors is termed 'paedophilia'.

It's not so nice how things are strained between us.

It's not so nice how something is so big that we miss out the small relationships which are what's important.

A Circle of Friends

2012-01-28T01:01:00.000+08:00

It's pretty amazing how we're so different, yet we take time to talk to each other.

It's pretty cool that you're 3 years younger yet you regard me as a close buddy.

It's pretty fantastic that you're so cool and you consider me your friend.

It's pretty nice that we've been around each other for 8 years and we're still close as ever.

It's pretty awesome how we never seem to have time for each other sometimes, but take time out of each other's busy days in school to chat and catch up.

It's pretty great that you always keep me in check everyday and you take care of me.

It's pretty fantastic that you're a girl and you're so easy to get along with.

It's pretty lovely how we can find rubbish to talk about from nothing, and occupy ourselves for hours on end.

It's pretty good how we're so distant yet we can be close friends, even though you're my junior.

It's pretty wicked how we suddenly became bros in 2008.

It's pretty wonderful that we dig out time to eat and study together, though always studying and eating something different.

It's pretty splendid how you're on the other side of the world and we could still meet up for breakfast. Wish you were here.(:

It's pretty marvellous how you are such a mature person to talk to, sharing our problems and gripes yet always being encouragements to each other.

It's pretty pleasant that you've taken all the setbacks so far in your stride and came out stronger. I admire you, junior.

It's pretty comforting that you are such an affectionate friend and junior and you never fail to cheer me up.

It's pretty neat that you have big dreams. Take them and fly!

It's pretty super that we always stand by each other though we hardly see each other nowadays, and have totally different schedules.

And it's PRETTY EXCELLENT that I happened to chance upon you. I imagine you to be the greatest of friends and confidants one day, though I may be mistaken. But to date, you've grown to be someone I admire and love, dude. Thanks loads already.

Thanks guys.

You can try and guess who you are. If you even read this place. :) I kinda forgot who's who already so don't bother asking.

Open Letter: Pertaining to matters on Founder's Day Parade

2012-01-18T23:59:00.000+08:00

ACS Boys and Girls, past and present, UYO leaders and proud members across ACS (Independent)’s 8 uniformed groups, the Military Bagpipe Band, Boy’s Brigade Bagpipe Band and Symphonic Band who never fail to support each Founder’s Day Parade every year, students of ACS (Independent), personal friends and all else to whom this may concern:

1 Greetings. I am Jeremy Ong from the ACS (Independent) NCC (Land) Unit I come to you today in my personal capacity as a friend and student of ACS (Independent). I write this open letter today to explain to you and update you on the occurrences dating back a few days up until today. I may at times insert my own opinion when I shouldn’t (very unprofessionally) and I pray you forgive me in advance.

2 It is a honour and privilege to come from the school’s NCC (Land) unit, which has achieved a consistent GOLD award for the past 8 years since 2004. It is a hallmark of pride and prestige, and it has helped to shape me into the person I am today. I have led the unit and am still presently active in the unit, serving and striving to bring the unit to its potential. By writing this letter, I hope to be able to communicate with you some of my findings in my non-personal capacity.

3 Whether at the end of this you see me differently or see things differently, is not something which is within my control. What we can do is our best, and nothing more. We can hope and pray as well, for Romans 12:12 says “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” After which, the decision does not come down to us. We may not see the results we hope for an expect at the end of the day, but so be it. At least we tried.

4 To place things in context, I am deeply aware that there has been a lot of unhappiness and deep dissent about the fact that many CCAs in ACS (Independent) have been receiving budget cuts or drastic changes to the way things are done. These are things we are not used to, things we do not expect coming at us; so be it. As ACSians, in fact, ACS(I)ans, we should be ready to adapt, make changes as necessary and do our best to keep our CCAs running at full capacity, manpower and ability. Many want to speak up and out against such change.

5 This blew out of proportion on the night of 11th Jan 2012 (Wednesday), where word spread that the 126th Founder’s Day Parade would not materialise. The news got out as such: on 10th Jan 2012 (Tuesday) evening, it was made known to me that the Parade would not be mounted this year. It was my duty to inform the Parade planning committee that the Parade would not continue thus ceasing all operations related to the matter. The people informed included all senior and junior Cadet Officers from the Tri-Service NCC units in ACS (Independent) (59th and 61st intakes) as well as the respective Unit Sergeant Majors, so that preparations and training would halt.

6 As such, news got out by Tuesday night and it spread even further on Wednesday night, to the extent of being viral. Many people were notably angered, disappointed and upset by the decision, expressing their thoughts online and through social media. It was something I believed I could do little about, being raised instead to listen and follow instructions, not to question them. This changed, which I will elaborate on later.

7 The 126th Founder’s Day Parade has been in planning since late August 2011, so the planning committee has undertaken about 6 months worth of conceptualisation and playing with ideas to make the Parade unique yet grand, special yet full of tradition and mystique. Yes, the effort we have put in is a great deal, including working out a proposal, spreadsheet and a full set of Parade Orders which has undergone multiple revisions.

8 I have also been made aware of many old boys from various ACS (Independent) UYOs and even those not from UYOs, who have been planning to come back on 1st March 2012 to watch the Parade proceedings, because it is a highlight that most of us look forward to. I understand and share their disappointment, as I do all others who are upset or disappointed, but Proverbs 30:33 says “…anger produces strife.” This should not be what we seek. We should refrain from being angry, for not only does that hardly solve anything, it causes us to be irrational in our thinking at times.

9 This had to come at a bad time, when a majority of the students and teachers were overseas on the Overseas Educational Programme/Character Development Programme (OEP/CDP). It would cause trouble once everyone was away. Little connections would be made back to Singapore, where my cohort mates and I would be working hard in our final year here. Gossip would spur overseas, whether in Malaysia or further, and what would happen after was something I did not want to even speculate.

10 On Wednesday night, it came to my realisation shortly after the news got viral, that so many students were unhappy. In my capacity as a Student Leader and Cadet Officer, surely I had a part to play. I wondered what I could do about this and was moved enough to think long and hard despite having my Physics homework and Chemistry Design IA to worry about. I spent Wednesday night deciding how I was going to go about doing this.

11 On my part, I could not really do anything even though I am the bridge between Students and Teachers (including the Senior Administration). Talking to the teachers would gain us no ground, merely because of the fact that the people who are expressing frustration do not want reasons, but merely a full reinstatement of the parade. The reason behind the decision, I can safely say, is because the school management felt that having a National Day Parade would be more appropriate to attempt to display our UYO prowess. We ARE the only school with enough UYOs to pull off a parade of as much stateliness and grandeur, and we should pride ourselves on that fact and be happy that there will most possibly be an NDP, instead og griping over the fact that FDP is not going to materialise.

12 Saying this, I am intricately aware that in my professional capacities I have been unable to serve as an effective bridge between the students and the school management. For that, forgive me. The school will have reasons, and we should trust, as a Methodist institution, that the management knows and wants the best for us, because Romans 13:1 says that “Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God.” I urge everyone to let this matter pass, move on and look towards other significant feats our UYOs are capable of, NDP being one of them.

13 If anything, even if this has gone nowhere, we should always bear something in mind. All that we do in our professional capacities should be in love for and with deepest service to the school. As leaders and members of our various UYOs, or even if you are not, people look up to us for a role model, and we have to present ourselves as that. And bearing in mind always, that for our juniors and peers and even seniors, “let us consider how we may spur one another on to love and good deed.” (Hebrews 10:24, ACS (Independent) Theme 2012) Through our actions, thoughts and words, let us do all that we do in passion and in loving service.

14 To God Be The Glory. THE BEST IS YET TO BE.

Yours Always In Service
C/2LT Ong Jun Kai Jeremy
6.02 Bethesda 2012
President, Student Council 2011-2012
ACS (Independent) NCC (Land) Unit
59th Intake Cadet Officer Course/5th Intake Advanced Drills Course
Planning Committee, 126th Founder’s Day Parade

Welcome to Year 6 Life.

2012-01-14T23:43:00.001+08:00

I think it's absolutely unfair that you judge my commitment based on how often you see me, when obviously I'm quite concerned with the day-to-day running of the organisation I lead, when I don't hit 'reply all' so I don't look like a bossy control freak, when I try to let others step up because that's what the whole 'leadership experience' is all about, when I do things quietly and silently because I don't like attracting attention. And the only reason why I'm putting this on is because I don't want others who read this to feel the same way when put in a situation similar to mine.

I have no time to blog anything else. I'm knee high in homework. Maybe higher.

Of Climbing Barricades and Fake Mums

2012-01-03T23:09:00.000+08:00

Yeah. I'm giving myself some alone time. So I can rant a bit and stuff.

I guess the world is a selfish place. Me included. I guess promises are never kept. Me included.
Today, I found out who my new teachers were. And who were gonna follow me up. And I guess I was happy. But I guess also it's never the teachers. It's the students. Those who shut themselves off and complain later the teacher was terrible. You don't expect the teacher to bounce around for 6 hours a day being excited about HL1 the whole time right. I guess we need to motivate teachers too.

I realised this because, as Mr Hodge said today, for those of you listening, we have to be sensitive and we have to encourage constantly to nurture a loving community in ACS (Independent). That means teachers too. No-one's going to come up to me and say 'excellent job, Jem' every day of the year. Even if they did, I'd feel lousy because I know I'm doing a far from excellent job though I am trying hard.

Life's quite a mess for me now, I just need to keep the faith and work at my EE. Things are changing and they're changing fast. And I have to be on the balls of my feet to keep with the climate.

Confession time: I jumped the barricade twice and a friend got someone to pose as my mum so we could sneak all the way near the fireworks on New Year's Eve. It was bad. It was fun. It was the spur of the moment.

I guess school will keep being a drag. I make it out to be more though, just that it seems very bleak whenever I look in retrospect.

A buddy to talk to.
That'd be good.

Jem

Post 1000. Happy 2012

2012-01-01T22:27:00.000+08:00

Happy 2012 everyone. The year 2011 has been hellish but devilishly fun all the same.

Can't say I grew or matured in any way. I tried to love, but failed because I loved superficially but didn't really love according to Biblical demands. I loved others only to still get angry at them. I loved others because it said so in the Bible. Not because I wanted to. I guess the spirit of it was lost.

I never looked back on my resolutions. Can't really remember where I put them. I wonder if I succeeded in any of the resolutions. I surprised myself a lot this year. Getting into 2 Dean's Lists and topping my class. Topping my class for the first time. And when I do pull such a stunt off, there's no more prize for being the top pupil in class. I see the humour in that though. =)

That's so academic. Running for council has to be one of the toughest decisions I'd ever have to make. And thank goodness I did. I thought to myself, I won't be doing myself any justice if I don't at least try and serve the school to the best of my knowledge, capabilities and extent. And all of a sudden, I got flung into the presidency. Trust me, even if you saw it coming, I didn't. I got a shock.

Council has been damn tough. Leading peers is so different, especially having girls all of a sudden. Suddenly, bathing takes 4 times as long as you expect it to be. You have to make special exceptions here and there because of this need or that compulsory event. But sometimes, you wonder if people consider Council the most prestigious extra-curricular organisation in the entire school. I sure as hell want them to for the amount of effort I put in, but is everyone pulling their fair share of weight?

NCC has been quite stressful too. I love KBT so much, loving their company. But everyone's a couple, everyone's a clique. I'm...hopping. I have to sit in the smoking corner sometimes because there's where I can get some company for a while and people care (or not, how'd I know) to listen. It's fun being around definitely, and I'm not going to give that up anytime soon. It's just sad knowing that I came into COC not knowing anyone. And so I don't belong to a clique. But I guess maybe many feel that way. I'm glad I've found friends in Arfian and Rodericks, but definitely everyone (active) in KBT played a big part in making me the CLT I am today. Even though I'm not promoting probably for whatever stupid reason.

My EE is. I don't know. I'm pretty lost. I've been seriously considering switching to English. That's how bad it is. I'm praying about it, but I guess I can't say anything much more than that. It's been very painful for me. I don't really want to talk about it. Thanks Shim for just being there.

Church seems less bleak than a while ago. I feel better spiritually too. Psalm 24:3-4 "Who will ascend the hill of the LORD? He who has clean hands and a pure heart."
Of which I have neither. I'm a disgusting as puke sinner and I've been granted Grace. And I only pray I'd be like Christ to others.

And finally, the friends. Sometimes I try too hard. Better than to not try at all. I guess friendship and love is all about giving and not expecting any returns. Well. True. But sometimes I feel so emotionally drained because it seems so one-way. But it's meant to be that way, ain't it? Some people say friendship ends when both sides give up. I think it ends when the side that's been trying harder gives up. I don't know. I hope that I'll make more friends in 2012 and impact more people. It's not a bad dream.

And maybe I'm ready for 2012. Or maybe 2012's ready for me. If the world ends, good for it. If it doesn't, good for it too. I'm ready to take on 2012 and give of my best. Can more be asked of me?

Nothing further.
God bless all of you this new year.

You'll be in my heart

2011-12-30T23:34:00.002+08:00

This song is dedicated to the 52nd ACPB. Thanks for letting me come back and share what I've learnt from the board with you. The PB made me who I am today and for that I am thankful. You guys have a year ahead of you. Make the best of it, form friendships, love one another like brothers. Be strong. Leave a legacy.

NB: Not all the lyrics apply. But you're always in my heart, ACPB.

By the way, this is from your Head Prefect's favourite soundtrack and movie. ;)

Confession #4

2011-12-30T23:29:00.000+08:00

I forgive way too often. Though it's Christian love to do so. I let some people step all over me sometimes. And I am sick and tired of it. Sorry to be selfish, but my time is precious.

Confession #3

2011-12-29T13:48:00.002+08:00

I trust some people with my life. But these guys probably don't trust me to carry their meepok back to the table for them.

A Friend To Keep

2011-12-28T03:29:00.000+08:00

This is post 996 and I don't think I have the energy to thank everyone personally like I used to for a great 2011 with me. So post 1000 isn't going to be an amazing cry-out on New Year's Day 2012 or whatever. I'm terribly jetlagged still. It's 6.30pm London time, I'm wide awake in Singapore. 2.30am. I'll blog.

This post is about a friend named Ryan.

It was one of those typical days in Primary 3. Where nothing really mattered, you just had a whole load of fun in school and nothing really mattered. But getting scolded in JC1 and getting scolded in P3 were two different things. One got you really scared. The other you forget in 5 minutes. No prizes for guessing which is which.

I was in the toilet, during one of those, everyone-go-to-the-toilet breaks. And so did I. And I was just about starting when two other boys started screaming around like crazy people. Well, we were 9 years old and wouldn't have known better anyhow. So they screamed and fooled around. My back was to them of course and soon they were done with their antics and they'd left the toilet. And when I was done with the entire routine, I left the toilet about 10 seconds later to a grumpy face, demanding why I had been screaming so loudly in the toilet.

If this were JC1, my mind would have said 'Yeah because that was definitely me' or 'Because my piss was so intense I had to let out a wail'. But in P3, you shut up and your mind goes 'OhshitImindeepshitnow'. So I shut up. And out of nowhere, Ryan appears. Now Ryan was doing something. Either drinking at the water cooler. Or walking past at the right moment. And because I'm such a terrible writer, I'll just go ahead and say Ryan saved my ass.

Ryan told her that I wasn't the one doing it (he probably knew because he was around outside when the two monkeys left the toilet still fooling around and heard them) and got me off the hook. Ryan was honest. And Ryan was helpful and a friend to call upon in times of need.

Now Ryan was a friend to keep. But the story doesn't end there.

A few weeks later, the dreaded Chinese teacher called for workbooks to be in. I think he was male, so we'll stick to using the masculine form of the noun. And Ryan forgot to bring his. Being the terribly responsible class monitor I was, Mister Chinese Teacher asked me to go round the room and be the bad cop for him, checking their bags for those who brought but didn't want to hand in for various reasons (incomplete, undone) et cetera. I remember nowadays people just hand in whatever they do and say they don't know the rest when they don't complete their dues.

So I went around, checking. One boy brought his without doing. And earlier in the year when I wasn't feeling well (vomitting) he told people to stay away from me because I was smelly. Well, I was only 9. Anyhow, I took it back on him. I fished out his workbook and passed it to the teacher, who went on to scold the feller left right center. Moving on, I got to Ryan, who also 'didn't bring his'. As I looked through his bag, I found it. And when I did, I gave Ryan a look. I was like 'whut...' And Ryan gave me a knowing look.

And I knew what to do. I told the teacher with a straight face that Ryan didn't bring his book. And so he believed me (can you imagine how much shit I'd have gotten into if he didn't believe me) and Ryan got out of it. So I wasn't totally honest. Good that that's changed. Anyway, so I guess I got a chance to save his ass too (as crude as that may be).

So a friend in need is a friend indeed. Does really apply here. =) I met Ryan quite recently; actually, his family met my family (our Mums are friends too!). He looks the same but definitely has grown much taller. And my mum recounted these stories to me as we drove around England after we met. I can't believe I nearly let them slip my mind.

A friend to keep, indeed.
Goodnight, everyone.

England

2011-12-27T08:16:00.002+08:00

England has to be summarised as quite exciting. Let me get this out of the way before I get to serious work today (no EE/TOK, just all the other stuff like Council and NCC). EE and TOK still loom before me, I really am quite de-motivated to work on it. But like I said again, even if I can't do anything else with me EE, at least I worked my butt off at it. I still am quite confused as to what I am doing. =\

Day 0 - 11 Dec (Sun)
So we got to the airport in a van a bit like Isaac's. Then we got frisked and checked at least 10237109 times before we were allowed to check in our luggage/board the plane. There was some massive security detail doing this from Cisco. True enough, we later found out that President Tan was on the same flight as ours. So many cars and police bikes around...plus it got to the media. Hmm...private holiday? Non-existent for the President =\

Anyhow, I got to watch Friends with Benefits and when I heard the taxi driver swearing I laughed like a MADMAN on the plane at 4am in the morning (we flew off around midnight) so that was quite disastrous, I doubt I woke anyone up though. Watched Glee 3D Movie, Mulan (the Cheena one not the cartoon one) and HP7 Part 2 FINALLY. That was quite appropriate since we were visiting England :)

Had a shitty breakfast before landing in London though the supper the night before was excellent too! And then we found ourselves in Heathrow, the world's busiest airport.

Day 1 - 12 Dec (Mon)
We cleared customs by 7am London time and got picked up by a Pakistani taxi driver who dropped us off at our first hotel/apartment where we were to spend the next three nights. We dropped off our luggage and then went to walk around Earl's Court area. There was a huge Teso (supermarket) with a Costa (like Starbucks/Coffee Bean) so we had hot chocolate and picked up some sundries before we checked in to the hotel (just behind the Tesco).

There we met Uncle Jack, who arranged for dinner the following night and gave us our Chelsea-Man City tickets for that evening, and then we went upstairs to lepak. I slept for a good 3+ hours before waking up around 2pm, where we walked down towards Fulham Broadway, where Stamford Bridge is. We had an early dinner and then walked around, then it started raining and we walked around some more till 6.30 before it was freezing cold (ok not quite) and we went into the stadium.

Now the atmosphere there was FANTASTIC. it was quite sick, but videos take forever to upload. The fans are nutters, lucky I was sitting home and lucky Chelsea won else it would have not been a pleasant walk back to the hotel. Now we paid quite a lot of money for the seats which weren't fantastic. And despite the ticket saying 'persistent standing is not allowed', we were all standing anyway. The atmosphere is really super intense! When Joe Hart came to our half after the break (I was sitting behind goal), there were people shouting 'F*CK OFF, JOE F*CKING HART!'. Really super mad all of them, but it was damn fun to be there. When the first City goal went in (on my side), the whole of our side was quiet.

Then when we (sorry since I was sitting home, give chance, though I do support Pool) equalised, everybody was super excited. When we got the penalty, we went nuts, and when Lampard blasted in the penalty, they all went 'SUPER, SUPER FRANK, SUPER, SUPER FRANK' which was amazing. Then when the final whistle went, the whole crowd went nutters; they deserved to, City was undefeated till that night. Then we walked home in the cold and slept once we got back. And this was just day 1. :)

Day 2 - 13 Dec (Tue)
We woke up late and went to Piccadilly to admire the place and Eros and the entire West End atmosphere, which was quite breathtaking. We had a Pizza Hut buffet lunch (cause we were starving and it was the only restaurant in sight) then walked all the way to Trafalgar Square and the National Gallery and just took in everything we could.

We went for dinner with Uncle Jack (Dad's cousin) and I realised I have a cousin in my year in Hwa Chong (how cool is that! I am kinda ignorant to this kind of thing, forgive me). Uncle Jack also told me (since he works in London) that President Tan was hosting a dinner reception at the Singapore Embassy on Friday the same week (16th Dec), so we figured it was him on the flight with us.

We went to check out the Winter Wonderland at one of the parks (I THINK it was Hyde Park, not totally sure), which was quite amazing, though everything was closing by then. Uncle Jack took us on a drive around Central London before dropping us back at the apartment, where we dropped like flies onto our beds. Just a random fact, the London Underground is so cool! I recognised the smell from the last time I went to London as a small boy, and not all the stations are straight! Only one of them had doors on the platform (Westminster).

Day 3 - 14 Dec (Wed)
We went to High Street Kensington for brunch; ate the same pancakes Mum and Dad did back in 1990 or 1991 when they lived in London. My folks are cool eh :) Dad was studying postgrad and Mum was working in UOB or OUB or something of the sort.

Then we walked into Kensington Gardens all the way to Bayswater/Queensway area and had tea before going to visit Paddington and King's Cross stations, which was quite breathtaking, being in a train station like that. Trains aren't our usual mode of transport (Imma talking those high-speed rails, not MRTs) so that was a unique experience.

We went to Piccadilly again to pick up our tickets for Phantom of the Opera that night, went for a quick dinner then watched the show at Her Majesty's Theatre. It. Was. Amazing. I really enjoyed it! Of course, we went back to Earl's Court to pack and sleep. Just another random fact: the tabloids in London are REALLY GOOOOODDDDD. I loved reading The Evening Standard and The Times. I guess the writers are really that awesome? :P

Day 4 - 15 Dec (Thu)
Dad picked up the car in the morning and we drove up to Oxford, which is a beautiful semi-ancient University Town. We checked into a college dorm which was quite plain but quaint all the same. We walked around Oxford and had a grand dinner at Beefeater's then went back to the hotel to sleep. No TV :(

Day 5 - 16 Dec (Fri)
Packed up and left after a dorm breakfast and visited Oxford Town, the Bodleian Library and Trinity College and other colleges we could get into. Really beautiful, all of them! I think I've been convinced I want to further my education in UK...just...where? Still no idea. But UK universities give us time to do other things. Community Service (or a bit of part-time tutoring, whichever suits me better when I'm of the Univerisity-going age), CCAs and hanging out with friends. I doubt college dorms allow dogs though, else I'll have myself one too!

Had a pub lunch and continued walking, visiting Oxford market and all. The Coke Van was in Oxford (go see pictures)! Then we went to check in at our hotel just outside the town centre (Best Western: Linton Lodge), watched some TV (I LOVE QI, BEST SHOW EVER!) and then went for an Indian dinner.

Day 6 - 17 Dec (Sat)
Went up to Stratford-upon-Avon as a day trip before we moved from one U-town to the next (Cambridge if you've not already guessed). There we had brunch at a Tea House, and I bumped into Yi Jun and his family, who were just out of Shakespeare's birthplace. That place will just be a quiet quaint town if it were not for that place, which was utterly breathtaking. I think I appreciate Shakespeare more now. No. Seriously. Fair is foul and foul is fair...

I bumped into Ryan Kwan (an old friend, read my post tonight entitled 'A Friend To Keep' if I have time to write) which was quite cool, he has a baby brother now! :) We got to Cambridge at dark, checked into a college dorm (again no TV, but quite fun all the same) and explored the almost non-existent town. Had dinner at a Spanish restaurant, which was AWESOME! I loved Sangria and Tapas and all! And then I went back to sleep.

Day 7 - 18 Dec (Sun)
Woke up to use internet, then went into town and found a nice army shop on St. Andrew's Street where I got 2 Gold Kiwi Shoe Polish (Parade Gloss Prestige), which is damn hard to find in Singapore supposedly. It cost me 5pounds or S$10 thereabouts, so that's quite expensive. If you REALLY want it, I'll sell it to you for $2005. It covers the cost price plus airfare. No profit to me. =) HAHAH kidding, not for sale. May give one away though...hmm.

We went punting in Cambridge too, sailed down the river and back up it again. Our guide and punter was quite cool, he talked a lot of nonsense but it was super enjoyable though quite freezing I must say! We went shopping after that and had Sunday Roast at a pub before going back for dinner at the Dining Hall - a cheap option after our expensive Tapas the night before. And we heard about Aaron Tan and Kim Jong Il, at the same time.

Day 8 - 19 Dec (Mon)
Woke up early to use internet and have a dining hall breakfast again, chatted with friends back home in SG before we visited King's College Chapel and then we travelled back to London and the traffic got Dad into a FIT like I'd never seen before. It was 100x worse than SG traffic can ever be even on a terrible day. We finally got to our hotel and returned our rental car by evening - we were at the choice hotel for SQ (all the pilots and cabin crew stay there), the Millenium Gloucester - and no more movement till it was time to fly home in a week. We bought 7-day travelcards for the week and had dinner near our hotel and went back to sleep.

Day 9 - 20 Dec (Tue)
Went to Wimbledon today, which was extremely grand! We spent the whole day there, at the shop, museum and touring the grounds. No more Strawberries and Cream that day, pity. =( We went back to Piccadilly for a Chinese dinner and then tried finding cheap tickets for Les Mis, but that was not to be. Then we tubed back to our hotel.

Day 10 - 21 Dec (Wed)
We went to catch the Changing of the Guard at Buckingham Palace. What a grand thing it is, but it was so damn crowded! The whole world was there to watch it, that was mad in itself. It was very fun to watch though, the Colour Ensigns marched up to us as they trooped the colour and wished us a Merry Christmas, cool people! Then we walked through Green Park back to the tube, where we went to visit Westminster after we had lunch at West End.

Westminster was utter boredom (I apologise), there are better things to see in London. So if you really want, go there, get a picture of the London Eye, the Big Ben, the Abbey and tube somewhere else. It costs 16 pounds PER PERSON to enter Westminster Abbey (S$32 or $12 (6 pounds) for concession up to 16 years old) so you probably will think twice. Besdies, we had enough of chapels. :P

We went to Oxford Circus and Bond Street to take in the atmosphere then went back to the hotel area for dinner.

Day 11 - 22 Dec (Thu)
Woke up early and went to the Science Museum and only covered 2 floors before having to leave for Stonehenge. We visited Stonehenge, which is more glorious in photo than actually being there. But it was a unique experience all the same, yay! And then we went back to Gloucester where we walked all the way to Hyde Park Corner before we settled for Italian at Covent Gardens. And then suddenly when we went back to the hotel, there was Wifi. Amazing.

Day 12 - 23 Dec (Fri)
No more Wifi SIANNN. We had breakfast at High Street Kensington before doing some shopping. Me and Josh got off from Mum and Dad to shop at Oxford Street while we went to the Science Museum. And guess who was there...THEODORE CHUA! HAHA! HOW COINCIDENTAL. But he beat me lah, he met Ms Diana Chng. Poor Ms Chng, bumping into students while on holiday must be terribly painful :P HEEHEE.

Then we had Ribs for dinner before catching Les Mis, which was not as amazing as I had hoped it would be, but good all the same. I enjoyed Phantom more. We went back to sleep after that; it was nearly 11pm by then.

Anyways, about the Science Museum, we covered everything else, spending an hour with Theo too. It's a nice place especially the top floor where they have the interactive area for the kids. I would LOVE to volunteer there because SO MANY KIDS go, unlike Science Centre in Singapore, poorly maintained and in the heartlands in the West; hardly accessible. They should...centralise it more? =| Not like I have funds to be doing this; I shouldn't talk. But my volunteering there was not as meaningful as it ought to be because there were hardly any guests to interact with.

Day 13 - 24 Dec (Sat)
Rose late, had a quick breakfast then lunched at Earl's Court (it was rubbish). Then we went to Piccadilly (we were watching ANOTHER West End show: The 39 Steps as a matinee) and we visited M&M's world, which is a TOTAL dreamland. I would LOVE to work there. But...maybe not. The 39 Steps was a good comedy, quite hilarious, but only a few inuendos here and there which I seemed to get. Or maybe it was unintentional HAHAHA.

We had dinner at Tottenham Court Road, the only place open was a little Cafe there with a pretty good steak I wolfed down. Then back to the hotel to lepak.

Day 14 - 25 Dec (Sun)
Flying home today! And check-out day. We had to leave by 10, supposedly, so we woke at 9.30 and rushed only to realise check-out was at noon for one room and the other room we had late check-out cause we were checked-in late when we first came. So we went back to sleep (at least I did) and woke nearer to 12, where I transferred all my packed things over to the other room and then we went for a lazy breakfast at the only place open in Gloucester Road. It was pretty hilarious; everyone there was tourists with no place else to eat, everyone serving was Indian and they certainly were glad to get so much business. That's called market strategy ;)

Then we walked all the way to Bayswater, where we had Khan's for lunch/dinner and then walked all the way back and proceeded to the airport and flew home. It was an enjoyable and fun-filled 2 weeks. I put on weight. Time to exercise it off. Time to head back to work. I am awake now at 8am. Been awake since 5, slept at 1am last night. Jetlag is getting the better of me. Hope I don't crash in the afternoon. Must stay awake! :P Sleep early tonight, tomorrow morning go for a run hopefully!

I think I'll go tonk on the piano till 9 and then settle down to finish clearing my email and NCC stuff, then set a date to cut hair, and get my act together before school starts.

And oh, I'm legal in 11 days ^^

Cheerio!

61st COC POP

2011-12-11T02:41:00.001+08:00

So immediately after MIP1 ended, I went home, washed up and packed, changed into No.4 then left for Amoy Quee Camp (which is HQ NCC just FYI).

So I got attached to Contingent 2, which was kind of my thing, since I like interacting with cadets. Thanks Theo for changing with me (Theo had an attire issue anyway HAHA) and I trained up contingent 2. Then I messed around with the CLTs the whole night till 4.30 when I finally slept. Some of them picked up smoking, which is quite an unhealthy vice in my humble opinion. Don't want to pick it up though I hung out with them for about 90 minutes just contemplating life and NCC (does it sound serious? It was quite light-hearted actually).

Then woke up at 6am so I had only 1 sleep cycle. Took the cadets while Shahdan was gone, haha and a bit more. Also popped by Camp Pin as a 'Guest Judge'. That was quite fun! :D Saw a LOT of people I recognised, so that's quite enjoyable. Hope to be their COC trainer next year for some of them (exams end on the first Wednesday COC starts, so I'll be quite involved in COC if I get in, though econs is my weakest subject).

Then continued training, then it rained, got my No.5T, then had a miserable lunch and dinner haha then Parade lo! Exciting! It went really well, no-one fainted despite every rehearsal having one or two casualties who were smart enough to squat. =) Very proud of them all and glad I made a tiny difference in their lives. Making their Parade a memorable one. I hope to work with all of the Westallionz soon and continue to inspire cadets and ensure I remain a good role model for them.

I reflected, and wondered if I still upheld the Cadet Officers' Creed. And I hope I do. But if I fail, I will always work to improve myself so that I be worthy of the rank I wear on my epaulettes, which I believe is the senior members of NCC having faith and trust in me, thus is a heavy burden I carry, as small as it is compared to those in the SAF.

Oh well. I wish I had more time with this batch of juniors. They are a fun batch, though they like us last year had much to learn. And if any juniors from 60th/61st are reading this, I'm still learning. Never stop learning, never forget your creed, always remain committed to HQ and your school unit. =)

I will spend time with the next batch of juniors =D If I get to be a trainer next year. And I won't stop with the Corps until I have to report to BMTC (or anywhere I'm posted to). =) That's how much NCC has impacted my life.

Ok and I slept and woke up with 9 hours of sleep today and was still tired. Played piano and then came home to sleep the whole day from after lunch to before dinner. And now, going to crash before Church tomorrow. I'm messed; it's 2.30am. :P I have piano AGAIN, then home to PACKPACKPACK then gonna sleep before going to the Airport. I have movies I want to watch on the plane and don't intend to be sleeping too much for the first half of the flight.

Flying off to London from 11th night (tonight in 21 hours) to boxing day evening. And I will get some people Christmas presents if I can find anything that suits them. And I don't know what's going to happen with my EE or my TOK. All the best to me. :)

I'm jealous of 2 kinds of people: those attached, and those who have good looks. :D Hahah kidding. But yeah. I have my wishes. :P Superficial ones, at that. Won't be blogging for the next 2 weeks. Promise to have many photos. And with that, I end with a photo as is customary (yeah I kinda started it a few posts ago, but the previous post didn't have a photo, because some SAF info IS sensitive).

Extra-large as I approach one year of Cadet Officership with one of my best buddies DC =) who got to be Air Ensign last night! PROUD OF YOU! I hope to get my chance soon too!

And now, it's time for me to rest.
Jem
I am proud of the corps and my country, and will try and make the people of this nation proud of the service I represent.

MIP 1

2011-12-11T02:15:00.002+08:00

Quite a thrilling week has just passed. Just like that. Of course, this has left me with many reflections.

First things first, MIP1 2011. It was quite sad that most people just seemed like they wanted to stick in their cliques, so I hardly met anyone new, but just hung around friends from school. That was quite disappointing, but all-in-all, I enjoyed myself thoroughly during MIP1.

MIP 1 was more than just a closed-door open house, it was quite an engaging experience. We got to see things I'd never seen before, even in NCC, and trust me, NCC allowed me to see quite a bit. I got to go to the Live Firing Range in Tuas at 16 and this year I got to go again. Difference? I got a chance to do live-firing this year, with a man portable anti tank anti door (MATADOR, just messing with you) high explosive anti-tank round (HEAT for short, just messing with you again :P). And that's about as far I can say, besides the fact that I hit the target. The rest of the info I know may or may not be classified, but whatever the case, I better not blog about it or risk jeopardising others' chances in participating in this. So yeah. I got a chance to do some live firing.

Also heard from many senior commanders such as SLTC Alfred Fox, who is damn cool.
'It's a good day to be a solider'
'HOO-AH!'
He spoke about Resilience, which is:

Pragmatic Optimism
Purpose-Driven
Flexible Adaptation

and that is taken off the top of my head. He gave examples of it too, which made it quite interesting =)

He also spoke on leadership, which was 3 points too, but I can only remember 2: humility and EQ. 'People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.' I guess that really makes sense and it has only filled me with a greater desire to be an army officer.

As a sidetrack, they say Army is opening eyes for the 'rich-kid school children' such as myself. Being the sole cadet officer from my year in Land, I think I have got to see for myself that life isn't as sweet as we cut it out to be for many around us in Singapore and we are privileged. Thus comes humility and then comes EQ, knowing that people may be going through family issues, or financial problems. They don't go home and have doting folks who nag at them. They do whatever they like...and some fall into vices. And to lead them, is to inspire them and to show them you care. And then, once they trust you, they will fight. FIGHT for you, CHIONG in front of you knowing you're right behind them, and DEFEND the land that both of you love.

THAT inspires ME to be a leader in the SAF; more specifically, the army.

The next day, we went aboard a Frigate which was a super-cool experience. I'd never been to the bridge of a ship before, let alone a WARSHIP! :O It was darn cool, seeing the operations and stuff. Seeing how the XO gave orders and everyone on the bridge responded 'Roger, sir' and meeting a Naval CPT named ONG JUN KAI HAHAHAHAHAH HOW COOL IS THAT. Well, I can't tell you much about the ship, because some things are classified, but I can tell you, if anyone has any guts to attack Singapore they don't know what they're in for. I don't know if I can say the name of the frigate we went on, but it was a formidable experience ;) I loved it, I love the fact that the Navy is like a big family, but I don't think I cut it for the Navy.

The Air Force: where you hardly take up any leadership till you rank LTC or COL and above. Which is weird. We visited RSAF's Paya Lebar Air Base (PLAB) and flew the C130. Surfed and jumped around, got to see the cockpit up close, which was quite once-in-a-lifetime since I didn't go Camp Pinnacle or anything of the sort. Well, then we had an interaction session with the senior commanders of the RSAF, which was cool because they were cool and gave very interesting insights into the SAF and RSAF. But, I still think the army is the place for me, as it always has been, because I don't want to be caught up in a cockpit the entire day long. I want to be (the very best, lol I heard the Pokemon song for the first time yesterday -.-) a leader, and where better an experience than in the army? =)

The third day, we visited 2PDF in Clementi and there I bumped into Paul Chun, who's a spec in 2PDF. He supposedly does Urban Ops. =) Anyway, got to see a lot of the capabilities of the army's 'security department' here, which was amazing. Then we had an audience with the Chief of Army, which was a good experience and more or less confirmed my desire to serve in the Uniformed Services (specifically again, the army).

MG Ravinder said that leaders in the SAF have to be the most resilient (which spurred me thinking about what SLTC Fox said on Tuesday) and their brains have to work super-fast under harsh conditions, even with their helmets on (there's a saying in the army that your brain stops working when your helmet is on). Leaders have to inspire their men to fight for a cause, because most are enlistees. How many men would fight for Singapore? You don't know, but to get them to share your belief is not easy, whether they be smart or dumb. They want to trust their direct leaders, then they will go into battle knowing full well their PC is right behind them.

Leaders have to roll down hamburger hill and still get back up and continue going up, blows raining down and as they slide back down, have the resilience not to give up. And that is how wars work. Wars work through leaders fighting every battle down. Leaders have to be able to look the enemy in the eye and say 'it's either him or me who lives tonight, and it will be me'. Leaders have to defend what they love with their lives and know that their men are doing that as well. There's no use being a bum in Singapore, trying to down-PES all the time. For what? So what if you down-PES when you're perfectly healthy to fight? You're useless to Singapore and a coward. The Army, after all, is our people. Without which, our army and all its technology, is as good as useless.

Thus, I am determined to train myself up. To not waste time doing silly things anymore. But trusting God, study hard, and keep fit. Lead a healthy lifestyle (sleeping enough or trying to catch up, so my heart doesn't give way), keep friendships stable, serve NCC faithfully and step down from 6th SC well and fine. That way, I will psyche myself up, and train myself to be ready to serve and lead in Singapore. Fitness will be key, and once it is out of my way, I will be ready.

They say that SAFOS scholars are being groomed to be Service Chiefs (the cool men with 2 stars on their shoulders). That's cool. While these don't come knocking every day (any day in fact), I think working towards it is good, but being any scholar and leader in the SAF will be a reward for me. It will be me doing what I love every day: and let it (my career) be my passion. :)

The chairman of PSC wrote in an open letter in 09: know your stuff if you want a scholarship. Who is the health minister: if you want to be a doctor. Who is the chief justice: if you want to be a lawyer.

I want to be an officer in the SAF. I hope I know my stuff. The Defence Minister is Dr. Ng Eng Hen. The MS Defence is Mr Lawrence Wong. =) Both the Perm-Secs as well and all the Service Chiefs. And yes, I have the passion to serve in the army.

Thanks to MAJ Kelvin and CPT Junyang for putting together a super-solid MIP1 2011. Appreciate it!

I know some of you may not believe in what I do, but I hope you will do your best to serve Singapore in whatever capacity. Contribute to this little red dot, this island home which is not to be messed with. And yes. It's a good day to be a soldier.

Jem

HOO-AH!

SCMS 2011

2011-12-05T20:14:00.007+08:00

Like my Facebook status said, nothing to be proud of. Have to troubleshoot I guess.

So I went to grab my Racepack after lunch on Saturday and then we checked into the hotel, took some pictures and went down for dinner before returning up to the hotel where I fell asleep at about 11pm and woke up once or twice to Joshua bathing at 12-ish. Irritating. Disturbed sleep.

Woke up at 4.45am to numerous calls from the reception plus my own alarm, so I presume it was a good thing. Then left, and decided not to inconvenience myself by bringing money down for breakfast. So I skipped it and left the hotel with just my Ezlink and the hotel keycard in my back pocket and took the MRT down to Outram Park and further down to Harbourfront where I went straight to the start point and basically paced up and down, did a bit of stretching and then clumped up all together for the race, which started unexpectedly. Started with Edward but he flew off pretty fast while I tried to pace myself.

It was indeed sickening, a very hilly route along Sentosa, compared to 42 and 10 which were supposedly quite flat compared to the 21 route. So I ran and ran till I could run no longer and I stopped, which was quite shitty. I think I stopped at the 5k mark and walked a bit uphill before continuing on. But I must say, my first 2k took nearly 14 minutes; I knew something was amiss.

I walked the whole way across Sentosa and on the AYE and ECP because every time I wanted to run, I felt like puking, which was terrible. I was only past the 10k mark (on Sentosa Gateway) at 67 minutes and after 2 hours I was at the 16k mark. I finished in 2h50 minutes, running the last 100m before vomitting everything out after I was past the cameras from Marathon Photos. (yeah, act only)

Was wondering why I was feeling unwell, when I ran my first 21k with (relative) ease and in 2h15min, which makes the AHM timing look like a fluke now I did this 2h50min one. Really irritating. I think I can attribute this to a number of factors.
1) No breakfast/food
2) No carbo-loading the day before
3) Not enough rest (hmm...AHM leh?)
4) Unwell too

I must have been feeling really top of my game during AHM to have run a 2h15min. I want to push myself to 2h06 before going sub-2. It's a good aim I suppose. Don't know why I wasn't up to it this time round. Maybe the route just made me sick. HAHA. Not to mention a start-time 75 minutes later than AHM 21k start-time.

Oh well. This was a lousy race, will seek to improve from here. At least I didn't stop and didn't pull out despite feeling like a shit after the race. Went back, bathed, slept and slept and slept and lunched and slept. That sums up my Sunday.

Today woke up at 2 and went for lunch with Mum at NEX and then came back, packed and washed my shoes, cleaned my room a bit. All ready for MIP tomorrow. And I'll be off the wire for 3 days so I'll see you all on Thursday evening again.

Peace out! (yeah I've cheered up significantly from the lousy SCMS 2011)
My life seems interesting on alternate days. :)

6th NCC Dining-In

2011-12-03T02:33:00.000+08:00

I am in high spirits now. =) Though it's raining.
What a night. Not many people can say they have experienced this. Not many people would want to experience this. But I am glad I did, and despite the stress (if any, it was quite natural actually), I enjoyed myself immensely.

Today was a good day. Leaders Hall was the appropriate location for a Dining-In. It was grand enough, most surely. Many SAF personnel do not get a chance to experience such an event, so I consider myself extremely lucky.

Met up at Joo Koon with friends and went to Pasir Laba Camp, with my invitation and all. I was in a good mood; my No.2 uniform wasn't the best fit, but it was still good. After all, NCC is supported greatly by units who donate all these, and for that we are already thankful.

Going for the rehearsals was fun. It was just poking fun at the entire concept of Dining-In, allowing us to relaxedly understand the procedure without being too serious. Some would say, being a little cheeky. EH. HAHA. It was enjoyable, with all my fellow Cadet Officers.

I also got a peek at the 61st Cadet Officer Course. They are a PROMISING BATCH, I dare say and I think they'll be almost as good as us! HAHA kidding, definitely, every year gets better and better and it shouldn't be anything less...makes me think about my other (previous) commitments.

What I enjoyed a lot about this event was that, it was part of my whole NCC experience. It will definitely be included in my 'Things To Remember' list of NCC. I feel sad sometimes that AC cannot provide me with the opportunities I could have acquired to do even better in NCC, because that's bureaucracy for you (just a figure of speech in this case, it's NOT bureaucracy).

I loved taking the many photographs I did, one precious one up above, because these are the ways I'll remember this event. It was not just the friends, it was not just the grandeur. It was something about the experience I can't put words to. Thrilling? Yes...but, no that's not the word. Exciting? Yes but no. I guess that's called passion. It was enjoyable just to be there. Who likes dining with rules? Nobody, I suppose. But it was not difficult to execute anything out-of-the-ordinary. Anything I did was just the gentleman in me rearing its head. Necessary for something of this formality.

I had a lady Teacher-Officer on my right, WHO HAD TO MAKE A PRESENTATION. So guess who was busy standing up, pushing in chair, standing up pushing out chair? :D Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it (OK weird lah but, better than just sitting and loafing around). [Note: Loafing is not the correct word...Reader's Digest claims it means 'only in your underwear'. Just sayin'] And I enjoyed the whole formality of the occasion. It added to the atmosphere.

The band was beautiful and the marching in of the NCC colours, the punch ceremony (without alcohol, as Daryl says, 'Syrup, Colouring, Colouring, Colouring, Syrup') and the bugle calls for us and Head Table...amazing. Watching the SAF Dining-In on Youtube and going through the actual thing in NCC is a whole different ball-game. Things will be extremely different if I ever get to experience this in the SAF.

Now I can say I've worn the No.1, 2, 3 and 4 of the NCC/SAF in a way. That's cool to me. When I was watching the Corporate Video, what really impacted me was that, as busy as I was in a JC (yeah kinda), I still could connect with most of what I saw. Which is good! The only things I think I still have to do is to Climb Ophir (if DC lets me), BAC (possibly not, my mum forbidding), hold an NCC flag (simulated colours) on parade once and if it's not too much to ask, an ICEP and AKE. All these things are really things I could have done as a cadet (except hold colours) but I didn't get the chance to. Oh well. Still hoping I can before my time is up.

The food was decent, I tried to polish everything up to look like I wasn't wasting food. Unfortunately the people around me weren't too bothered and they let the servers clear the plates even when they hardly touched the food. Oh well, not fazed either. Ate all the sotong all though I despise sotong. Hope I don't get diarrhoea tomorrow morning during my run.

And, everything went really smoothly, Daryl did an excellent job with Ross, I enjoyed my meal, had many photos with many people and it was a NIGHT TO REMEMBER. I am blessed, I keep telling myself. I consider myself blessed to get to experience this. Hopefully many more times...and maybe one day at Head Table! :P

To spoil the moment there...
Yesterday loafed around (in clothes) and went to Ikea where I just...slacked and helped mum take plants.
Ok end of story. Cool story bro.

Jem
ONE SPIRIT

Cousins

2011-11-30T23:52:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was quite nice. I guess. Finishing up labwork, seeing Mr Hodge, cleaning up the lab, not seeing Mrs Quek because I fail -.-

Went for lunch with Mum; she was an hour late, I spent some time alone in Orchard. The more time I spend alone with myself sometimes it actually feels good. Brought Mum around Orchard, she got me a Crumpler to replace the scrap I currently have (yeah the strap actually broke) and then got me an ORANGEEEE fleece from Uniqlo. She quite hip leh Mum.

Went home and did up the Parade Orders till 3am after sleeping till 9pm. Quite sloth. So I spent 6 hours on it.
Woke up at 11 this morning and kept on at it. Went over to my Cousin/Grandma's place. My cousin did well for PSLE. I told him come to ACS (Independent). Quality education and you'll be one of the top few in class. AS COMPARED TO RAFFLES, where he's going, where he'd merely be average. Though I can't deny that they have quality education too (actually I don't really know, can't really say).

Finished the Parade Orders at 6pm and went for dinner with Josh at Swensens to celebrate his birthday. I haven't run at all much this week or last. Imma dead for 21k this Sunday. Oh well. Friday's Dining-In. Parade Orders are in order for 126FDP. Gotta run them past the other CLTs too. =) Doing a lot more tonight. OH JOY :D

Why do I only seem to pray when I need You?

Confession #2

2011-11-28T21:17:00.001+08:00

I think all this while I've been searching for someone to fill that void. Quietly.

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The West Flag

2011-11-28T20:13:00.000+08:00

Today went to school for meeting + EE. Notice I put EE second though I went for it first, because it's slowly ending. Last time tomorrow and I'm done I think. =) Quite sick and tired of this. Hope Mrs Quek doesn't find anything majorly wrong with the labwork. =|

Whenever we hit a brick wall, we smash right through.
Today, I went with Rodz to go draw No.2. It was fun and quite fast. As with NCC, you'll never get a perfect fit, but it doesn't matter. Hope the experience is good!

Then went for selections. It was drizzling and the ground was wet, plus this was my first time trying for colours. I didn't make it to get to the point, but the selection was tough, nearly slipped, had a hard time finding my way around. Congrats to Daryl who made Air Ensign and Jon Tay who made NCC Escort. Well done, AMAZING STUFF =) You guys rock.

As for me, I know I disappointed some people, probably my batchmates, my seniors from 52nd and 53rd and probably myself too. BUT. I will not be fazed by this small hazard, I will practice harder and work harder to achieve my goal of carrying colours once. I don't qualify for West at the end of this year, because C/LTA (which I hope to be promoted to on 1 Jan 2012) can only do District/NCC level. So I have to work doubly hard. AND I WILL.

Cheers to Arfian and Yyat who fought hard. NOTHING IS DEFAULT. WE WILL FIGHT TILL WEST HOLDS THAT COLOURS. =) We will. And we'll do our friggin best, day in day out. I am going to practice. If it needs gymming my right arm to rusuk and turun properly, I WILL DO IT. Hahah. I want to make my NCC Experience count.

BUT. Even if I fail over and over again and never get it, I will still be happy. Because I have grown as a person. And who knows. Maybe one day I'll get to hold SAFTI MI colours. Or SAF colours. On NDP. WHO KNOWS; DREAM BIG :D I will work hard. Failure means growth. And EE has taught me that. I will never let failure stop me in my path, or get me down. I will defeat failure.

And I'll be going Dining-In on Friday (with the whole KBT gang). And NDP12 next year, hopefully as Contingent Commander (just an aspiration). And going as a trainer next Friday for 61st POP. YAY =) Get to take pictures with all my graduating juniors. :D

And signing out now. Making the best of things despite disappointment :)

Tintin!

2011-11-27T23:04:00.000+08:00

Tintin was a good movie, I guess. I also feel we're actually spending more time as a YG now. YAY. That's a good thing.

Woke up late today and thus got to church late as mum already predicted. Then went to watch Tintin with the YG after Carls' lunch. They had Carls' but since I had it on Thursday night, I decided to opt for BBF from Chippy's instead despite the 'No Outside Food and Drinks Allowed' sign.

Tintin was quite good, of course as unrealistic as a cartoon can be. I think what really inspired me was what Haddock said to Tintin but I can't remember it now. Sian. Hahah. Made me feel a bit better about my EE. I also really want to watch Muppets SO CUTE OMG. Slept on the bus to piano and woke up right at my stop LIKE A BOSS.

Then went for Piano, which I still suck at. Then dinner at the Korean place opposite Haw Par Villa but the ECP Outlet I don't know what it's called HAHA. It was damn good I think, then we went for dessert at Wimbly Lu at Jln Riang. It's not bad either! This was Mum's birthday celebration, so Happy 28th Birthday Mum. 28 forever in my heart, even when I'm 30 you'll still be 28. And I have nothing else to say on this pathetic post.

Oh yes. I have updated my Movies To Watch list. So yeah. And time to include Uglydolls on my Wishlist.

Of The Week Past

2011-11-27T00:28:00.000+08:00

Well. The week has been eventful, I suppose. My EE doesn't look promising in a sense that it's simple. Maybe a little too simple. We'll see. I remember wanting to start off with something unique, and of all the things I racked my brain on this year, it was EE. Now I'm left with something simple, just struggling to do my experiment, collect data and then finish it up. I don't want to disappoint anyone, least of all my supervisor who's been extremely understanding and caring. I also know how difficult research is now. At least EE has taught me something. Research needs patience. And that I WILL fail at one point or another in life and I have to keep looking forward. I need to be more patient. And more willing to fail.

Joshy told me if I fake results, God will punish me. Besides, my conscience won't let me live it down. Surprisingly, a lot of people seem to be ready to fake results. So I told them "God will punish you." And I received responses like "No He won't. He understands." or "Nevermind lah, no choice.". I have no comment except to say that my EE will be an honest piece of work which I will have put much effort into, even if I can't show much for it otherwise.

The week that passed without regards to EE (in other aspects that is) was quite eventful! Let's talk about Prom first, then Council Chalet (YAY!), then a little bit of NCC, then in general just wrap up. =)

Prom was an utterly fun duty. Of course it was busy, but it was fun. First, go see the pictures of the room in which we had to ourselves from 3-5! It was to rest + shower + change and it was AMAZING. The room was so damn atas, even the toilet was grand and had a tub and all. The soap in the toilet had EXFOLIATING BEADS OH MY. Basically, $600 a night for a 6-star hotel. Says a lot. We enjoyed ourselves in the room while we had it haha =)

At duty proper, it was busy with registration, ushering and waiting for SA7 to come. We had the Prom food which wasn't fantastic but it was decent for the price paid I suppose. Quite atas! I also realised most people weren't at their seats at all, instead taking lots and lots of photographs as a cohort together for the last time. It may prove to be trouble for future Proms after next year =\

Clearly nobody cared about the Prom awards either much to the disdain and helplessness of Jon Goh and Colette (MCs) but the music was good and I enjoyed serving my direct-senior cohort for the very last time. The ACS Anthem was beautiful (wonder if it'll be tear jerking next year, especially if they played it as beautifully as they did this year) and then we had to anticlimatically chase everyone out of the hotel to post-prom or home because of a security issue (Royals were in). The Sheik/Prince of some Middle Eastern/Arab country was in town supposedly. Now he was quite boss :P

Council Chalet was super tiring but IT WAS DAMN FUN. We BBQed till like 11+ then rested and cabbed to ECP Macs where we had supper at 12 and then we played at ECP Premier Pitch (or whatever it's called) from 1 to 2.30 then headed back home. We could have played till 4 or 5 if we wanted to; they had already locked up by then. We got back and showered and slept about 5-ish. Woke up at 9 to check out and then left to do EE. When me and Shim got to school we slept and slept till 2pm instead of waking up at 1pm as originally planned (fail lol). But fun fun fun! Got to spend time with all the Council mates, excellent!

Then Thursday night went for dinner with Claire at Carls' (oh and she passed me my Krispy Kreme on Wednesday afternoon haha YAYY!) and then went home to crash. Friday was back to school for EE and then I slacked, met with some EXCO members to discuss Council-related things, then watched the Prefect Councilors clean up the room (Why wasn't the Board activated? Hmm.) and then had Pseudo-Tea with Moses at Clementi, Dinner at IKEA with YG I then watched SPECTRUM at CGS (their Band performance) in support of Ruiying (who had a solo). It was a nice concert I think! :) Bumped into Jaye (with his NCO friends though they didn't see me except Jaye cause I said hi to him) and Mike Wong (whose Sis was in Crescent Band THAT'S NEW!) Then suppered and back home and slept at 4. WASTING TIME.

Today was slack too. Woke up at 1 for lunch (planned to wake up at 4) then walked around Centrepoint then had coffee (I didn't la of course) with the folks and then home and wasted more time. Then dinnered out (Tze Char) and then now home again. My life quite interesting hor? :P Been playing a lot of NFS Underground 2 lately heheh. DAMN FUNNNN :D I'm going to buy myself the games I listed on my wishlist and the steering wheel and put it at home with a big sign saying 'AFTER IB' on it. To inspire me. But I hope I don't get out of control. Better that way. So I can differentiate real driving from computer driving haha since I'll be doing lessons early next year (I hope).

For NCC, I applied for West Ensign earlier this week. Competing against Yyat, JJ and Hasfis. Gonna be tough, but I'll just do my best. Want to be really solid and complete my NCC experience. Hope I remember my skillz from Part C as Unit Flagbearer! =) Also found out I'm going for Dining-In, which really adds to the whole NCC experience thing! :) Get to wear my No.2, will find a nice pic and put it up from Dining-In. Hopefully it's one with Jon and Ying Wei! :) And I want to take with all my batchmates too! =D

And also, my parents have been discouraging me from joining NDP12. I want to, as a Contingent Commander, after all, it's my one and only chance and my last year. I will, and I will put the same effort into my studies too. I think I can. I must! =) Being a trainer this year was AMAZING so I expect nothing less as a CC. So I want to do my best. =) Carrying one of the 4 main colours (NCC or Land) is also one of my aspirations in NCC so hopefully I get to do it, maybe at 63rd COC next year or something.

That's about it for the week. Things on my to-do list include:

Finish collecting results for EE, collate on Excel, begin writing.
Plan itinerary for London trip
Play more NFS
Parade Plan for 126FDP.

I am excite. Ok logging off now, Standard Chartered Marathon in a week, wanna clock in some running tomorrow morning (if I even have the discipline to -.-). OH! And I'll be wearing a Santa Claus hat when running so I better not make a fool of myself other than how I already am going to! =) It will prove to be quite fun. A picture if I am not lazy to upload here, if not, Facebook! Look out for it!

Safe trip, junior!~

Confession #1

2011-11-22T07:19:00.001+08:00

I hate being called boss

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Of things to post

2011-11-22T02:37:00.000+08:00

I'll post today. Tomorrow is Y6 Prom (2011) so I will have to pass tomorrow. Following day is Chalet! So will have to pass that too. Thursday...probably going to be zoned from Chalet and all. So may or may not post. :O See first. But I have loads of things to say.

Firstly, woke up at 1.20pm today. SHIOK OR WHAT. Had lunch, played a bit of piano, still cannot make the Sonata in F#- piece motif sound like anything other than shit. =\ Oh well. That's what practice is for. Went upstairs and just played on the computer the WHOLE DAY. Then had dinner, and came back up to do work. Yes, I do actually feel rejuvenated.

Well. I also sent in an email to apply for selections for Flag Party for 61st. So hopefully I'll get to wear my No.1 with many of my beloved juniors on that day and get pictures =) YAY. And I also got selected for Dining-In. A lot of the seniors didn't supposedly. Wonder what's going on. Maybe too many of us applied. Oh well. I just have to say I'm blessed. I get to wear the No.2 this year. And hopefully again 2 years down the road. Will again be taking many pictures with juniors and peers. =) So that brings me one step closer to fulfilling my NCC experience. So I have yet to hold colours (hopefully this time round), go on an ICEP etc. I am also quite keen on going to Mt. Ophir if DC lets me. I hope I don't put him in a tight spot either.

My schedule is pretty packed out next few weeks. Went to check out the SCMS 21k route, looks pretty fun. I loike. Hope I am ready. At the rate I'm going I won't be. Hoping to throw in a 13 sometime this week. Perhaps Friday morning if possible. And a 20 on Monday morning perhaps. Then rest already before the actual race.

Actually. Yeah that's all I want to post today. Nothing else interesting. My away dates are as follows:
11 Dec 2345 - 26 Dec 1845 (England)
Won't miss much back here I presume. Quite excited!

Just maybe if you practice what you preach, he'll reciprocate.
Ignore if you will so be it.

And Happy Belated Birthday, Sir.

Why do I love you like I do

2011-11-20T23:33:00.002+08:00

Ain't gonna show no
Weakness
I'm gonna smile
And tell the whole world I'm fine
I'm gonna keep my senses
But deep down
When no one can hear me
Baby I'll be crying for you

NB: The video's terrible -.- Wrong video anyhow match only =|

Of Passion and Friendship

2011-11-20T23:08:00.001+08:00

Today my eyes were opened to a new definition of friendship. Friends who build each other up in Christ. And many names raced through my head. For all the people I've failed when it comes to building each other up in Christ. Being accountable to someone just doesn't fit me. I think I lost it somewhere last year. I don't want to be accountable to anyone except God and therefore I'll probably have it 10 times as hard on judgement day. So be it. But I apologise to all my pseudo-friends first for not being able to build you up. Sorry if I have caused you to sway in any way. I didn't know. I was and am still foolish and I cannot be that strong. And then comes the stark realisation I can't build others up thus I can't be a very good friend either. If I can't be a good friend, no point being friends with me. I will sway either way.

I know what people mean by their folks don't understand them. I guess it's no reason to flare out online about them. But I do have times when I feel my folks don't understand me. I always had the notion that I do what I want as long as I score it doesn't bother them. It doesn't actually. Once in a while they get into the mood and set curfews (which I reluctantly adhere to surprisingly, though if I break them I come back really early the next day) and bedtimes (which I don't have much of a choice with, unless I'm doing some mega-important project). I listen. I abide. I'm not a difficult child I think. I don't need to be the perfect one. I just want folks who support me, advise me but never say 'don't', and I don't mind them saying 'I told you so' if I decide not to heed their advice. Being a parent is a tough job. I don't know how my folks survived me. But it has given me an inkling of how to raise my children, if I have any.

Oh well. Ideas getting rejected, plans getting changed. This is the journey of life. I'm surprisingly downcast many of these days. I guess it's a good thing. I'm happy too, it's just that thoughts sometimes get in the way. I didn't sleep well last night so thankfully I have today to sleep in. I begin to doubt my ability sometimes. I am getting quite turned off about a lot of things happening now, but I guess I am a follower now. And people who want to lead sometimes seem so obnoxious, and it's not like they're doing the right thing. I don't even know. I won't ever know. All I want to know is that I've tried.

Been having a conversation with a particular junior about some standards. I guess things have changed. A lot. In school. Things are not the same. Paradigm shift. And we all have to adapt. You. Me. Us. I don't mind, but it's damned tough, I say first. My junior got my full opinion of what's going on and what has got to be changed. I may seem cocky about some things, especially with regards to how damned good my cohort of Prefects was, because we were. We were better than most batches. We balanced discipline with bonding. We managed to refrain as much as possible from being hypocrites. We managed to unite a board and nurture 83 passionate individuals. Of course there are the outliers, those that do not lie on the lines, even when their error bars are extended. Let them be. As long as we have enough for the cause, our work is done. I don't mean to be cocky. I mean merely to be proud of a batch which performed up to expectations. We got our thanks for that. Now it's up to other Boards to do it. It's not going to be easy. The same goes for Student Council.

On another note, my piano sucked big time today. 3rd apart...easy peasy lemon squeezy. 6th apart and my mind goes blank. Doesn't matter though, it's all in the practice. It also prevents me from trying anything stupid but just practising. I can't shift my mind away from it because I have an end in mind. That's how I enjoy my means. I think if you're having trouble with this you can always chat with me. Though I don't profess to be any much wiser than you. I'll try. Bumped into Uncle Hui too, whom I thanked for the chalet booking that I'm looking forward to soon.

Where will I find the courage to. One day.
Get down on my knee and say.
Lord, remind me of my sin. And the pain it has caused you.
And never let me forget it. That I may understand your mercy that bit more.

And true enough, I have no idea what mercy means because I have no idea how much I have sinned against God. How badly I have sinned against Him. I wonder if I am becoming holier every day. I know I'm not actually. Because the thoughts just flow and continue flowing. And I wonder who I couldn't forgive today. And I couldn't place a name. Have I been so perfect to grant mercy to everyone? I guess not. But it seems as if I can't think of anyone. Tough.

Life is so difficult. I want to see the school thrive. I want to see myself thrive in a nurturing environment. But the world isn't that perfect. I will put my best foot forward anyway. Emo post much -.- Not to mention messy. Just penning my thoughts.

Of Pledges, Creeds, Promises and Oaths

2011-11-20T22:15:00.001+08:00

ACS (Independent)
In accepting our appointment as Prefects, we solemnly affirm our loyalty to the Anglo-Chinese School (Independent), and pledge to do all things necessary to uphold the good name and prestige of the School, to set a good example for our fellow prefects and students, and to ensure that all duties are performed diligently and justly. Amen.

In accepting my appointment as Head Prefect, I solemnly affirm my faith and love in God, my loyalty to the Anglo-Chinese School (Independent), and pledge to do all things necessary to uphold the good name and prestige of the School, to set a good example for my fellow prefects and students, and to ensure that all duties are performed diligently and justly, to the honour and glory of God. Amen.

We, the Student Council,
pledge our loyalty to the Anglo-Chinese School (Independent),
to act in selfless service, putting others above self.
-
To serve not for personal glory,
but to affirm the trust placed in us by our institution.
We strive to fulfill our roles diligently, with fairness and integrity,
for the interest of our institution and the welfare of our students.
We promise to be a cohesive body, working together in encouragement,
For one aim and one mission.
-
May this oath hold true through the generations,
for The Best Is Yet To Be.
Amen.
_____________________________________________

NCC (Land)
We, the members of the National Cadet Corps and youths of the Republic of Singapore, do hereby pledge to be loyal to the Republic and the Corps, and to maintain a high standard of discipline and performance so that we may better serve our country.

I am a Cadet Officer,
a member of the National Cadet Corps.
I take pride in my organisation
and will be loyal to those under whom I serve.
-
I am the present and future of a distinguished Corps
and will honour those that have passed before me,
and those that are to come.
I will never do anything that will disgrace my uniform
school or country.
-
It is my duty to maintain my discipline
and those of the Corps.
I am committed to the values of the Corps.
I will uphold the responsibilities bestowed upon me
to the best of my abilities.
-
I strive to be the best that I can be
and to lead the Cadets in the acquisition of knowledge and skills.
I will persevere so that I can make a difference to those I lead
and maintain the faith by caring for my cadets. I am proud of the Corps
and my country and will try to make the people of this nation
proud of the service I represent.

I am a Supernumerary of the National Cadet Corps
I serve with pride and dedication.
-
I will ensure a high standard of discipline
and maximise the potential of those under my charge
-

I will overcome all odds
and uphold the prestige of a supernumerary.

Noun: Firm belief

2011-11-20T00:51:00.000+08:00

I realised I have placed trust in a lot of people. Trust is a very commonly overused/wrongly used word. When you trust someone, you expect them not to betray you or the trust you have placed in them. But the reason why people are hardened to trust is because this premise (in the sentence preceeding) does not hold. I've had it happen to me many times. Foolish but always hardened a bit more afterwards. I guess it's bad. But I know I learn every time. And I have learnt forgiveness too.

Lunch and Dinner

2011-11-20T00:09:00.000+08:00

As for today, it was pretty slack. Almost went to St. Regis >< Lucky I dropped Rishi a tweet in time. Oh boy, communication failure.

Lunch and dinner was both with the family. Of course, I let them know that PSC turned my internship application down. Perhaps I applied to the wrong ministries? I don't know. But again, the feeling of rejection. PSC initially told me yes and that they would email me details after they called. MOE did too.

I received an email from PMO telling me otherwise on Thursday night. Weird, I thought. And I was tired. I replied to ask if this overrode the calls I received and PSC Secretariat replied on Friday telling me 'Yes' with apologies. So yes, I'm free from 30th through 5th now before another stint somewhere else. Oh well, that's how life is sometimes. Mum made quite a big deal out of it citing my lack of communication skills and all but I kinda turned off 10 seconds into the mini-lecture.

I also told Mum that I thought it would be better to interact with other youths as a youth. So I asked the folks what they thought of spending 5 years doing Community Work instead. What I meant was receiving minimal wage for necessities and spending a lot of time doing things like helping underprivileged children or juvenile delinquents, because who better than youths near their age. I'm sure helping them as a 60-year-old is not going to be effective at all. They want people who speak their lingo and are in phase with them, same frequency same wavelength. 5 years after NS is not a bad idea. I don't mind being 5 years behind my friends. I don't mind seeing them being high flyers as I just start out. It doesn't matter to me.

Of course I had a berating from Mum. Actually I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. What do you think of 5 years out of my youth/out of my life before university to do community work? Honest opinions? Write on my Facebook wall or PM me. Or email me or something. Anything. It may be a stupid idea but I think it's worth it. It's worth more than millions and riches. Because the happiness derived cannot be bought my money.

Just a thought. It may not even materialise. I won't be surprised either way, if it did or did not. Call me an altruist, so be it, that's what I am.

Band NCO Camp 2011

2011-11-19T23:54:00.000+08:00

I guess it's apt to post now about it, since yesterday I was far too tired to. Lucky Monday I get to sleep in. Before going back to lab on Tuesday ><

Band NCO Camp was insightful. For one, I know that I was selected because they ran out of manpower for trainers. The feeling sucks to know you're called to fill in for others. But I went because I enjoy what I do that much. It didn't feel so much as being taken advantage of or being used, rather, I went washing all that away. Made new friends with juniors from Band (a few so far) and some NCC peeps too!

I think there's an unspeakable joy when you watch people you train march onto the parade square. Though not many may remember you, you know you've made that little difference in their life. You made their graduation a memorable one, a success. It feels good no matter. Learnt a lot from the time I spent with them. For one, it's tougher to convince them to listen to you when you have little authority over them (it's not like HQ) and they have to be really motivated because there's no point shouting: they'll just turn off. It was memorable and meaningful. I will never stop being a trainer.

There is a companionship in band (and all performing arts) which really appeals to me. It's like the same kind of companionship in team sports except instead of sweating, many hours are spent rehearsing. And I admire the band people, especially from AC because they sound really good and they seem really really tight. Being a loner in NCC in my school, it's tough to do that, furthermore, trainings aren't consistent. I find companionship in KBT and to some extent, Council. I always wish for more though.

I remember a few weeks back telling some juniors about my history (just a tad) and it came as a shock to them. Perhaps it's because I hide my emotions well sometimes. I like blogging, it's like an escape but not so much. What with employers checking my social sites and all. I got nothing to fear I guess. Besides the emo-ness associated here and the occasional really passionate posts about something I get worked up about, this is a nice log.

This is kind of a messy post. But it'll do. There's not meant to be order in all of this anyway. I had dinner with Mark, Nic and Jaime and it was fun. I get confused sometimes when conversations end or start with an exchange of 'whut's and 'huh's. Bumped into Sheng Siong too.

I think I've changed quite a bit. Matured? Not sure, I doubt so. If anything, grown a bit more playful and childish. But I know I have been hardened. Toughened. Maybe just that I don't place my trust around so freely anymore. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing. I also know nowadays when I invest into friends, I give and oftentimes don't get replies. Perhaps being irritating or trying too hard? Never mind, so be it. At least I tried.

I have to face EE still. Tough.

Right Now

2011-11-19T01:12:00.001+08:00

Blog tomorrow morning/afternoon/whenever I'm awake. Feels like the holidays though this weekend will be short lived. I'm tired. Going into a naturally recurring state characterized by reduced or absent consciousness, relatively suspended sensory activity and inactivity of nearly all voluntary muscles.

Sorry for being a bother.

Incommensurate

2011-11-17T20:32:00.000+08:00

Life seems unfair sometimes when people who seem to put in less hours than you, less effort than you, less thought than you, somehow do better than you. But life's like that, innit? And we just have to live with it.

I'm going to do my EE to the best of my ability and leave everything else to God's grace. But I bet I get what I deserve. Lousy grade so be it, my fault.

Important Discoveries

2011-11-17T20:27:00.000+08:00

You know I always wished I had my own poster up in school. Or one to keep. Or both. It WOULD be kinda nice. But not going to happen anytime soon! I bet everyone wants one though :P I'm going to put it on my wishlist heh.

Today I made progress on my EE but I am still very very behind and quite demoralised still. Everyday I want to go in happy and excited. I went off after lunch so I didn't have the post-lunch lethargy-in-lab syndrome which hits me everyday. I go to school at 8 and nap till 8.30 because I'm just so damn tired. Thank goodness my EE now takes 2 hours to do. Tomorrow I shall titrate, run my cuvette reaction, go buy mangoes and puree them/juice them then see if need centrifuge, then prepare them for waterbath, then UV-vis then record results then leave already. Shouldn't be more than 3 hours, so 8.30 to 11.30am. =| Beginning to hate the lab. I still think research IS cool. If only we had the resources and I knew totally what I was doing and was in total control then it wouldn't stink as much.

Band NCO Camp (37th year) looked awesome fun. I wanted to go since Part C but never got the chance. This year as a CLT I got to go super fun! :) Love interacting with juniors and love making new friends. :) Will be proud to see them graduate tomorrow even though some of them I met for the first time today and I don't even know their names. :P

But sometimes they say I try too hard. Safe flight, Colin :)

NovEEmber holidays

2011-11-15T23:21:00.001+08:00

Non-eexistent.

Typoes in this post are probably on purposee. I guess this journey, which is not over, has been the most trying one yet. Especially when you face schoolwork with relative ease and you know how important this project is with regards to your final IB grade and you just can't seem to get it right.

I feel like I should have chosen Math EE. I mean, even though it's tougher, it would be something I find much more enriching and straightforward to do and since Math is my naturally strong subject, I'd have no problems doing it, at my own time some more. Now I'm really suffering because sometimes I'm not sure what I'm doing in the lab, and when I am, I am almost certain results are too little to quantify. I reason with myself, definitely there is a decrease in antioxidant (and nutritional) properties of the juice since it has an expiry, but I've not gotten ANYWHERE yet and I dont have much time left. Not to mention, I'm not the kind of guy who pisses everybody off to get my things done, so I've not been able to secure the waterbath. The people doing their experiments all take it up and I've no heart to ask them to piss off to get hold of it even though I want to. It's the wrong thing to do anyway.

Now I'm really tired and burnt. Looking at my topic just turns me off and every day I go into the lab I feel so perplexed. I feel stressed looking at my EE. Can't calibrate my standard curve properly. My SD is 0.212 I thought that was good. Others have 0.00x =( Lab technician told me it's a lousy curve and I have to agree. I'm a lousy chem student. Every experiment in Year 3 and 4 I screw up, results lousy. This year they don't tell you the answers to your results but probably wrong too. Sigh. Even my Physics IAs do well.

I go in and I feel there's no hope. I don't know what I should be doing. Joshy told me to trust God, and I wish I could really do that and be totally happy and free of worry for the next few days as I walk smiling into the lab. And trust that I get results. Actually if I don't get results I'm just going to conclude that other factors cause the juice to expire and that the juice doesn't oxidise as predicted and thus antioxidant properties have little change. Sigh. Why am I sighing so much. I should have made this mine earlier. I'm out of steam for this year.

What if trials of this life were your blessings in disguise...

Suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character, character hope.

Not to mention I still have Council work to do. Important work.

What if Your blessings came through raindrops...

2011-11-14T22:34:00.001+08:00

Cool Stuff

2011-11-14T02:38:00.000+08:00

My first post of the new year should be a dedication post.

Then my first post when school re-opens should be called Bethesda.
Titus/Naphtali/Joel/Apollos/Exodus/Bethesda
Part 6 of 6 of an amazing journey(:

Big thanks to Ryan Strife QYJ for helping with the HTMLing of this skin. Looks neater now at least. Gonna stick to this for a while I suppose. Kinda fits me. Simple and down to earth.

Every important birthday should be mentioned too. And every 100 posts, on the double zero, something sensible and special to commemorate. Tomorrow shall show you pictures of my diary 2012!(:

Ridzuan

2011-11-14T02:28:00.002+08:00

RIDZUAN
RIDZUAN
RIDZUAN
RIDZUAN

MOHAMED RIDZUAN BIN MOHAMED ALI

<3 Hahahah

Dedicated to the friend who doesn't know how to turn off his CAPS lock. Just for kicks. If you really want one like this for yourself, FB message me. HAHA

What's The Secret?

2011-11-13T23:56:00.004+08:00

What's your secret, Brother Paul?
'I am the cheapest of all sinners. I am the lowest of the low. And that's what Jesus does. I had nothing. That's my secret. I was the worst of the pack.'
Isn't it enough?

I'm being transformed everyday.
And now I'm scrolling through my Facebook Chat contacts, looking for people to link this to. Hoping to inspire little by little every day.

The Gift Of Healing

2011-11-13T23:11:00.000+08:00

This is sort of a response to sermon today. It's more of a reflection.

I think the sermon kind of opened my eyes to the fact that when I am cynical about things like Bible Study, when I am unwilling to open up my heart, it's when I fail to receive healing. Whose failure is it? Mine. Time to let go.

When Reinhard Bonnke came to Singapore and told of his miracle, I was in doubt. I was...Sec 3 then? Which means I'd been going to church for about 2 years on. Reinhard Bonnke was an evangelistic speaker to the best of my knowledge and the programme at the Indoor Stadium was titled 'Good News Singapore'. And yes, I wanted in on the Good News. However, I guess I did become rather critical of the entire thing, that humans could say something, or pray and suddenly you feel warmth in the toes of an old woman and she is resurrected. To me, things did not happen that way. When God takes you, He does and when He comes back we come back too. I guess I had little faith. Or just a lack of understanding. Discovering that God delivers power through His faithful people (disciples, not Christians like me) was something new and insightful today.

I guess what was going through my mind was that, healing takes faith, as preached. But can it be used as a means to outreach and evangelism? Will someone who witnesses a resurrection or healing be moved enough to place faith in the Almighty? Does it not take much more than that? Exposed to Christianity since age 10, I guess it has been the people around me and the faith of others which I build upon but come to think of it, coming to church to me was something 'in'. I didn't have to do it but somehow an invitation built into something greater. Though I cannot profess to have grown deeply in faith, I have somewhat. That is something to give thanks for already.

Since healing (spiritual) requires faith as mentioned above, I suppose many people got healed that day. I don't know if I got healed. I didn't know what to pray for to get healed since I wasn't physically sick and spiritual healing was but a grey area then. Why then did people 'go forward'? Because God placed it in their hearts to believe? In what? Healing? But Christianity is not about that! Is it? I don't think so. Healing comes through faith and not faith through healing.

I suppose it was more of a confusion session that Good News day. Some things are cleared up. Healing happens. But healing is a product of faith. That's one thing founded in me; you have to believe to receive God's healing. That's about all. I'm still wondering what was it that got so many people forward. We left early. Me and Dave. Dave and I. Same.

AdSense

2011-11-13T16:32:00.000+08:00

In under 2 months I'll be 18. Once I hit 18 I'm going to have adverts on my blog. Generate a bit of income without having to work so hard. Blogging once in a while won't kill me.

Autumn Leaves

2011-11-13T02:16:00.000+08:00

If you're good no-one can say anything about you. So yeah. This goes for Justin Bieber too I guess. I have respect for him. Though I DID mock his song just now. Like I thought it was funny. I guess it was. Still is actually. Immature I know. Life goes on. I grow up.

Listen to the song if you feel compelled to. She's good. The song's a beauty.

The Dean's List Experience

2011-11-13T02:10:00.000+08:00

I figured it wasn't me when Mr. Kenneth Seah said one person got into Dean's List for Physics in my class so it came as a surprise when I got my results back for Physics. On a side note, I got 38 for finals and 38 for overall. Decent by my standards though I know people would kill for that. Sorry. To every man his own? At least I didn't go down 10 points~ I do know of people who did though, so IB is no joke, juniors. And thanks for the tip-off, seniors. I took you seriously.

Well when I calculated my overall marks and compared to JR/GJ then I found out that it was me since I was highest amongst them (they who usually perform best in Physics by the way). So when Mr. Seah told us it was me it came as no surprise. My Chemistry on the other hand, came as a surprise. When I walked in one day to class after duty, Mr GT told me I performed well then suddenly 'Oh by the way, you're on the Dean's List for Chemistry also.' I suppose the 'also' meant JR who was in Dean's List Chem too, whom Mr GT announced earlier before I came in.

I didn't know what to think when I found out I got a double though. Temporarily I was upset I missed out on Math by 2-3%. A lot of me was probably filled with pride? That I contained well surface-wise but of course inside is always a different matter. I didn't know whether to give thanks or not, because I suspected I'd lose out on time for EE. Which is a true story I later found out. Got texts from my supervisor asking me why I was not clocking in lab hours. I think I submitted a very very poor 2000 words too and I need to buck up if not IB screwed.

Before I go on, I have this pimple next to my nose which is big and fat and is in the way. And it hurts. :( Ok back to story.

Dean's List started off well actually! I think the highlight of it has to be Prof Sow's lecture at NUS. It was enjoyable and has pushed me to find a concentration which I enjoy and like. Which is why I am flourishing in PCM now, because I enjoy the combination. At least my HLs. For the lectures/tutorials/lab sessions in school, they were interesting! Sitting with smart people makes me feel a bit stupid though. But to each his own. I found the lessons enriching.

Chemistry DL was 'Phase Equilibria' although we never used the phrase the entire course of study. Physics DL was on LCR circuits and only at Dean's Tea did I realise L was inductor. -.- I was trying to figure that out for the entire time I was there. Oh well. But I told myself I'd sit down and understand it one day. *determination* I will. I will.

Dean's Tea was enriching, seeing all the smart people come together and getting my certs despite my non-regulation school haircut (if you want to know, I don't have a slope at the back now). And in the middle of all of it, November Feast, which I'm glad the cohort enjoyed.

I wouldn't trade it up for anything, but I guess this is all part of the plan. I have been enriched and doors in my mind opened: that's the most important part of Dean's List. Not getting onto it, not getting the certs, not getting the name nor getting the reputation. But getting enriched.(: Cheers to fellow Dean's List mates. And at least there were a few Singaporeans in each science Dean's List. Proves we're not to be messed with. Kinda.

You should never take more than you give. - Circle of Life (Elton John)

Of The New Blogskin

2011-11-12T18:01:00.004+08:00

I sound so selfish in my new profile, asking for people to pray for me. But I'll pray for you too. Whatever God puts in my heart to pray, I will. I prayed for a few friends taking O levels. Told them too! But no replies~ guess they're busy studying?

I also sound terribly superficial in my wishlist. I wish for all these, but it's fine that I don't have them. I won't die without them. It's just things that will improve my not-terribly-important lifestyle by a tiny bit. If you want to get them for my birthday, sure I guess but some of them are rather expensive so I'd rather not. I'd rather a card :)

I guess I'm growing. Kids want everything. And realise they need little as they grow older and older. I guess it's time for me to grow up too. After all, 18 in one and a half months. A senior in the school I've stuck in for the longest time. No other school has had me for 6 years. Go figure (;

I got internships coming up. Tell you more about it. Blogger is good. Kills time. Prevents me from doing stupid stuff when I can't play the piano or run (i.e. late at night when I'm wide awake). I don't know why I'm posting so much. Maybe got too much to say after not profiling my daily life for one and a half years now.

Things have changed. People have changed. More for the worse than the better. I won't conform. I'm going to change for the better. But not by human eyes. Maybe you'll think I'm changing for the worse. But I know I'll be changing for the better. Or at least trying.

When I previewed this I realised the most common word in this post is I. It starts the first few paragraphs too. Well I don't think you'd like me talking about other people on my blog. And definitely not you. Maybe I'll list the fact that I'm single too.

Some secrets, are meant to be kept.
I'll talk about my Dean's List experience tonight. If I'm not tired. Sleeping less than 10 hours on a weekend is illegal in my room. It should be 12 or 13 minimally.

Carnival ACS 4

2011-11-12T17:27:00.003+08:00

Went with Daryl! I guess that was pretty fun, more of just soaking in the...rain. And the atmosphere. A lot of non-primary friends went which was quite funny. I don't know who looked more out of place. Bumped into a cute giraffe (Chris Ho), Lola (Josh Ting), Dom's brother, Jem Lim's brother and old GEP teachers. The place is getting more and more estranged. Kinda sucks when you go back and don't know anybody. That's how life is. People retire. People resign. Everyone moves on. That's sad, don't you think.
Had food and walked around a lot. That's about all that happened. And the rain strangely didn't dampen the mood of the carnival much! Bumped into a weirdo too.

Oh and I met Gabriel on the way to school! Somebody else too but I can't remember off the top of my head now.

Ok it's 5pm the day after the IB Chinese B Papers:
Chinese Paper 1 Review
Passage 1 was a real walk in the park.
Passage 2 vocabulary questions looked Greek to me. Made 2 educated guesses which I found out are correct.
Passage 3 was un-doable. I did not understand anything going on. Oh no. Trouble here~
Passage 4 was manageable. Hopefully I got all the points to make up for the tricky ones from 1-3.

Chinese Paper 2 Review
Didn't understand a few questions so I picked the formal letter to write. I hope I made sense. Siann. I hope I understood the question in the first place.

Until results come out, I will live in the belief that I am done with Chinese for the rest of my life. The examinations, at least. :)
__________________________________________________

Oh well, going to touch up this new skin a bit more. Notice no comments section or tagboard anymore? (: If you have something nice to say, post it on my FB wall or tweet me. If you have nothing nice to say, it's okay. Just remember Plato's words: Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

Re-learning how to play the Theme from Love 2000 on the piano.

Maybe I'll take a nap. The weather's perfect for it.
Or maybe I should clear the Chinese mess on my table.

The problem with this blog...it feels like an extended twitter. =|

Blogging again?

2011-11-12T12:23:00.000+08:00

I don't know. I do know that I've changed my user interface. I've changed my blogskin and updated whatever necessary to make my blog look nice. I've even got ACS colours above as my navigation. How utterly cool is that! I probably will hardly have time to blog but it's nice to record down thoughts.

That's why as much as I want to delete the immaturities of the past 900-odd posts, I can't help but treasure life's journey. Ups. Downs. Everythings. They make me. And they break me. And I will keep them, but if you read them, I'm sure you'll find another side of me you never knew. Angrier? Emo, some would say?

Chinese B Exams were intense - I cannot discuss them till this evening because of the 24-hour-rule. However, I can give you a feel of the atmosphere once one steps inside. It is an international examination, but conducted internally. The air is intensely...intense, for the lack of a better word. You know the teachers around you, but you don't really know them. 'Row 5, Table 1, please step forward'. Script packets are counter-counted by students and then the scripts are distributed and then the examination begins. It was the most serious thing I've done to date besides my Cadet Officers' Course graduation.

Time to pop in to Carnival ACS 4.

A Mom's Tears

2011-10-24T22:28:00.001+08:00

God said, "When I made the woman she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world,

yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

2011-08-28T21:02:00.002+08:00

I'm not a model son.
Like everybody thinks.
I wish I was.

those 3 words.

2011-08-11T23:32:00.000+08:00

those 3 words meant more than what they were in literature.
to me they meant so so so much.

i admire you.
i look up to you.
i think you're cool.
i wanna be like you.
i wanna be your friend.
i wanna follow you.
i respect you.
i need your care too.
i'm going to miss you.

thanks.

chicken feet ha ha all the way

2011-08-11T22:38:00.000+08:00

think life's easy? I don't and I give thanks everyday. I try to remember but sometimes I forget too.
I know my life is easier than most. I dont have to worry about food, clothes, hygiene, health, homes.
I have to worry about my own set of worries, and they're much simpler to ignore if need be because they rank higher in Maslow's hierarchy.

Right now, I am just physically drained (15 hours out) and emotionally exhausted. I have to blog to get rid of some of this, let this be my outlet. I did pretty lot of work today, anyhow. I guess. But a lot is never enough in IB. Part of my physical exhaustion is probably due to my emotional tiredness too and let me explain why.

Firstly, I don't think anybody doubts this: I put a hell of a lot of effort into all I do. I put effort into my studies and I take pride in it: you're not going to copy my IAs/Math Port wholesale. Nothing in this world is free and I'm doing this for your own good too - by you not copying, you learn something when doing the assignment. Trust me on this, I've learnt this the hard way.
Tired by this? Of course.

Secondly, I give my best in all I commit to. Don't ever for a second doubt my style of leadership, nor doubt that I'm not putting in effort into NCC or Student Council or anything, unless you think you can take over my job. They say it's lonely at the top, it's true. Sometimes, you gotta be Mr. Strong for the people around you. It's a matter of personal pride I guess. I want to be Mr. Strong. I have to be Mr. Strong. What are people going to say if Mr. Strong fails? He's Mr. Weak.
Tired? Yes.

I put a lot of time into my commitments that sometimes I forget to give time to myself. And this is my time to myself. It's my way of reflection. Don't judge if possible.

Daryl, I'm not angry at you anymore. I'm about to tell you this when you come back from being 'Away' on MSN. You've been a bestie for the last 8 years, how can I turn my back on you now? I trust you still and I need you to know that, while I want to talk things out and help you too.

The stress that comes with all this is tremendous. There's a lot of pressure to perform. There's pressure from both ends and you never know when you may tread on someone's toes. I absorb all of that. And some of it is leaking out here, but I haven't blown up yet. I could, but I guess my bubble just can keep on expanding. It will burst one day. Hopefully it'll just deflate slowly after IB is over.

A lot of people have become emotionally attached to me. And I'm utterly confused, do you know that. I'm at a loss for what to do. God says "Love your neighbour as yourself". And to obey God, I love. But is that love? I don't think so. Forced love is not love at all. And thus I have failed to obey God. I seem to always be Mr. Motivation. There are times when people encourage me too in their own special ways. Thanks too for that, you don't know how much it means to me, because such encouragement is rare. But I'll keep on giving my share of encouragement because people need it.

Online people talk to me, but sometimes I'm so really tired I can't even bring myself to respond. Often times, it distracts more than anything and you know that the person over on the other computer should be doing his work instead of surfing the net sending you cool youtube links and such. How do you bring yourself to say this to him? What moral authority do I have?

To you: you are so attention seeking, have you looked around, nobody gives a crap? Maybe it's your over-inflated ego. You may be good. But keep it down, cause after a bit, nobody gives a shit. If you know who you are, say that to yourself once in a while. Nobody cares what you're up to, seriously. Maybe you should humble yourself and then you'll realise you are getting more friends.

To you: do some work and stop being a hypocrite. The world doesn't owe you any favours and if you can do my job better, THEN TELL ME. IN MY FACE. It's pissing when you talk behind my back and I know it or I hear it, it doesn't trouble me cause loads of that happens and I know it, and I've accepted it because I do what's in the interest of the students of ACS(I) and the people under my charge always.

To you: I know what you've been up to, my sources tell me so and I got a glimpse of it myself. LOOK AROUND YOU. YOU HAVE SO MANY FRIENDS WHO CARE. WHY DONT YOU REALISE IT. You think the whole world owes you something too. Some...emotional investment. Well, SUCK IT UP. You're 17 and growing older and you can't even manage your emotions. You need a counsellor and BAD. You're just lucky you have friends willing to cover for you and keep my mouth shut. Stop harrassing the world. Live with managing your emotions yourself. I LEARNT THIS THE HARD WAY TOO. So don't be a wuss, suck it up.

And to a group of you whom I've doted on since last year or even earlier, I can't belive what you've just spiralled into. Remember what I always harp on whenever I address the organisation as a whole? The third core value? What nonsense am I hearing about you gossiping about your fellow co-workers? YOU ARE A TEAM. DID I NOT INCULCATE THAT IN YOU? DID YOUR SENIORS NOT DO SO THIS YEAR? HAVE THEY BEEN TOO LENIENT? CAN YOU WAKE UP YOUR SICKENING IDEA BEFORE YOU SCREW UP BIG TIME?

I need my space too. I need to listen in class too. To you, I need you to shut up while the teacher is talking and stop acting as if I owe you 100000000132971208936189236123896136 favours and have to repay you one by one by answering your queries, your 10 hour long phone calls and your pleasant tone all the time. It's not even funny anymore. You're distracting me. Am I going mad? Probably.

In the last few paragraphs, I meant no offence to anyone, so don't take any. Treat it as me being nice enough to let you know? This could be so much more vulgar. Just saying.

Maybe all I need is another holiday. Heh.
Things aren't just 'chicken feet ha ha all the way' anymore.

2011-08-11T22:05:00.003+08:00

you know, if you can do a better job, let me know? and I'll let Mrs Yeo and Mr Dumortier know. And you can take over me. I'm doing the best I can, despite it not being good enough for you. I have some self-respect to know that the least I can do is to offer you my job.

of National Day Parades

2011-07-23T22:53:00.000+08:00

1998
2000 (overseas 1999)
2001
2002
2003 (by myself)
2004 (with the family)
2005 (with the schoolmates)
2006
2007
2008 (with Brandon)
2009 (with Ivan)
2011 (with NCC, as a trainer/participant)

11 times and maybe more when I was even smaller but can't really remember. Sometimes I am so in awe I wanna cry but got all the tough people round me(: So I don't, but I always get goosebumps. I always feel the tingle down my spine. Getting a chance to MARCH on the floating platform already leaves me in awe, not to mention watching it almost every year without fail.

Given the chance, I would have pushed to participate back in 2009 as a cadet, with a sure chance of marching. Now, I don't get to march, but I'm damn proud of the 50+ cadets under my (and other CLTs') charge because their dedication and commitment, along with passion for what they do, amazes me. They make every burnt Saturday worth it for me.

I guess this was what triggered the whole soldier-officer-NCC thing. I always found it grand, from the first year you brought me. I loved the fact that you were lucky enough to get tickets almost every year and I felt lucky to get to go. I remember the songs vividly. From Home, We Are Singapore, Count on me all the way to Together We Make A Difference, Where I Belong (P1), We Will Get There (P2 I THINK), Five Stars Arising and Reach Out for The Skies (P5), to name a few...

People laughed and I laughed along whenever we did NDP songs in school. They thought it was dumb. I LOVED it but kept that in my heart. I was so proud to be in my garden-city country, famous for cleanliness, notorious for chewing gum and fines, some would call it nationalist even.

From the moment I watched my first parade, I knew exactly where I wanted to be...not up in the grandstand (that'd be nice lah, some day :D) but down, on parade. A soldier. No doubt why I joined NCC in secondary school. It was a choice I don't regret 4 and a half years down the road.

I'm looking forward to NS because it is an opportunity to learn skills to defend my country. Hahaha. No. I'm serious.

And you, it has to be you. In a bad mood to put others down. Is 6 As really not good enough for you? 37/42 really that lousy? Even when I'm on track with my work if not ahead? Weren't you the one who brought me every time I wanted to go? And made me feel so proud to be the Singaporean I am and want to be? I look forward to Saturdays more than I look forward to most others because I love the atmosphere the grandeur the entire show in entirety. Do you even understand me anymore?

Gotta be tough and cheerful, no faking it!(: I really am happy nowadays. Managed to find REAL joy but really have been emotionally mentally physically tiring for me. I'm drained most days, don't really have any mood to study or work sometimes. Maybe I just need a refresher and some prayer. But so many people depend on me, it's difficult to feel anything but the fact that you cannot fail them. Sometimes you gotta find your own strength while being others.

This is a good outlet but yeah no emo guys!(: Just letting off some steam and reflecting.

that thing you do

2011-07-23T22:33:00.000+08:00

i really find it difficult to do things your style. you...suck. hahaha. like seriously. maybe i shouldn't have...joined.

=\

2011-07-11T18:55:00.000+08:00

you're my friend.
i think you are.
i have a picture of the 2 of us.
in our no.3s proud as anything to be cadet officers.

smiling away.
i wish things were back to normal. i don't like this you know i don't.

Love knows no war

2011-07-10T23:54:00.000+08:00

The title doesn't suggest anything.
I should be doing EE now. Heck. For the moment. Econs IA article is looming above me too.

But. I thought I'd say something.

You know why I love Kyubantai? Because we see beyond each others' skin colour, educational qualifications, abilities and achievements in and out of NCC, and just accept people for who they are. When we face tough times, problems or quarrels, we talk it out, sometimes in the dead of night. When we are going thru something difficult or trying to achieve something we normally can't, we encourage. (:

And you know why I invest so much time in my juniors? And why I bother so much to love them (sometimes even dote on them), care for them and talk to them? Because my senior did the same for me. And I feel called to pass it on and I know it'll mould them for the better. Some say it causes me to be too patient with them, especially in NCC. I try to strike a balance.
So yes. I try to be that senior. Talkable. Approachable. Helping people when they do need it. Being an older bro.

And I try to be that friend too.

3 and a half years on, thanks Bran. You taught me love. I'm going to light my world with it.

moodswing

2011-07-08T23:32:00.002+08:00

those moments when you feel very loved.

and those moments when you feel extremely hated. extremely so.

if some people hate me, i'd not givashit. but i don't think i should be public enemy number 1. at least not now.

Just Maybe.

2011-07-07T23:06:00.000+08:00

Do you have a problem with me being in student council? Can you make yourself stop sounding so pathetic because NOBODY has any sympathy for you? Would you like my spot instead? I'll be glad to give it to you if you want it and think you can do a better job than I'm already doing, because I know I'm not doing the most fantastic of jobs.

It's on my mind a lot in case you never ever realise. I always think about the IMPLICATIONS of my actions all the time, how I wanna do this for the school and what it entails and what problems I may face, how I wanna do that for council but who I may offend in the process. You think it's a smooth journey? It's NOT AND I'M TRYING MY BEST. I didn't say you said I wasn't but let me tell you this, we were elected by popular vote, so there's nothing you can do about it. People have all gotten over it. I promised to serve you and the entire student body before serving myself so that's what I'll do, and so YOU SHOULD GET OVER IT. NOBODY ELSE WOULD BE NASTY ENOUGH TO TELL YOU THIS INTO YOUR FACE EXCEPT ME: SUPPOSEDLY YOUR CLOSEST FRIEND.

Or maybe not. You're always busy, and you think I have no idea what's going on at all. I let you in on a lot of my life but you hardly on yours. I have no idea HOW you think at all sometimes. You text girls all the time and you make them first priority, it makes me sick sometimes. And it's not just me who has noticed. I'm not being nasty to you: think others will tell you this? Think again.

And maybe I said it was not the most important thing in the world. Well it's true. Firstly, probably senior admin will do it, right? And secondly, even if you do it, what, brownie points? Picture with the president? Who are you kidding that it's all you got? If that's the way you think, that this is the most important thing, then okay so be it. But I think you have a lot more in life to look forward to. Now, if you were collecting a medal from the President, YOUR MEDAL, YOUR BINTANG, I would be sure to support you and make sure you go for every single rehearsal in the schedule.

You always think my path is paved with gold. You think I'm not envious you get to go for IACE? I have submitted ICEP applications since Sec 3 dude and I've never even gotten into the interview round. Maybe I suck as a cadet/cadet officer. Maybe I'm just lousy and you're really a damn good cadet. Maybe I was not enthusiastic enough or maybe I didn't have as many opportunities as you. Maybe I saw right through you and your intentions. Congratulations on getting your post but I honestly didn't like what you said: that you'd commit suicide if you didn't get it. Not everything falls into place as how your mind plays it out to be. I've learnt this the hard way, okay. I bet you think my life's a breeze.

On another note, good luck with trying to catch up when you come back. And congratulations if you meet your target of 36 points. I've always asked you to work hard and maybe you are, but it's not showing. In the end, you'll suffer. Anyways, you only have yourself to prove to. You don't need to prove anything to me or to others. And what you make of it at the end of the day will determine your next chapter in life, to which I wish you all the best.

And lastly, maybe I didn't express myself well the other day but since you like blogging I might as well do it as well and say stuff on my blog. How fair is it that I, who you asked to help you for math, have to WAIT FOR YOU TO COME FOR HALF AN HOUR. Did you not REALISE that I HAVE EXAMS TO STUDY FOR AS WELL?

DO YOU THINK ME BEING ANGRY IS FAIR? Or do you think that I'm just being a nutter and getting pissed for no apparent reason.

HALF AN HOUR LATE. HOW LATE ARE YOU WHEN YOU GO OUT WITH GIRLS? IF I CAN WAKE UP ON TIME TO MEET WITH YOU TO HELP YOU. Now if you were helping me I'd wait. I'd wait 3 hours if I had to because you are doing me a big favour.

But no, I had to wait for you. I had a good mind to return home at 9.15, 9.20 and 9.25 by the way. I just told myself, 5 more minutes. And I grew increasingly increasingly angry. Because how fair are you to me! And you saw how it blew up out of proportion. We couldn't get a proper SEAT IN THE LIBRARY. WHAT ON EARTH. 9AM FOR A REASON, EVEN THEN, WE MAY NOT GET SEATS BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE GO THERE AT 8.30 AND WAIT FOR THE PLACE TO OPEN AND CHOPE ALL THE SEATS THERE. It was a risk to come at 9am, but 9.30 seriously?

And of course I couldn't focus. I had no table to do my work on. And you, didn't even have a list of questions to ask. I thought you were ready to get help. But seriously, help on every question? Take this advice: if you don't know how to do it, STARE FOR 45 MINUTES before asking. I've spent 16 hours on a SINGLE QUESTION before. And the joy you get when you solve it is unspeakable. But that's ME. I don't like getting help until I REALLY have to and REALLY don't know. But, maths is WITHIN YOUR MEANS and so you should be doing FINE as well. As long as you don't mind INVESTING SOME TIME IN IT. Your maths used to be super good. I used to look up to you in primary school for your amazing extensive knowledge of maths and science.

You can do it. I know you can. You just don't have the time to try and practice, right? Well, if I were you, I'd invest my time there. And maybe I'd be a bit more appreciative of my friends and SHOW IT.

I am hurt too. Just FYI you know. Not that you care a lot of the bloody time.

And to another two people (not my parents if anybody else is wondering) - get out of my life.
I don't know why you are still in it after what you did to me 18 months ago. It's been amazing I'm so friendly towards you. I don't know why I bother. People say I'm naive. Maybe I should harden my heart.
And to you, I...am just freaked out by you. You freak me out. And now you think you can do a better job at me than what I'm doing I bet. Be me for a day, Mister Creative. The world needs you, superhero. -.-

Reflections.

2011-05-17T21:18:00.003+08:00

I type this out on Microsoft Word, sitting on a bench by the pond nearest the Astroturf in school. I am watching my entire council in front of me. Daryl Yeo, Tim Koh, Nico who just arrived due to the virus called oversleeping, Ben Lee, Jon Goh who has changed out, Jaime who is running in and out of the toilet thanks to food poisoning. Joey, John Lee, Ivan, Steph. The ruggers in the background. Eric Bea, a demanding presence.

Watching the world go by.

And I rethink quietly, why on earth I joined council and whether I was in my right mind. All I ever wanted was to serve the school humbly and to give my little share back to this great institution. What feel-good did I have? The fact that I, one small man, was playing a part in taking care of this great institution was my feel-good feeling.

I am in school uniform today. Oversized by my standards, and not very comfortable, but Mum thinks it looks smart. Okay. As I requested of my fellow 47 student councillors to be in. 48 people. School Uniform. School Holiday. People laugh and say it’s unreasonable. I thank them for their dedication.

And I look at all that goes on within council. And it stresses me greatly. I type this while I still have battery on my computer. I didn’t bring my maths homework because it was too heavy. A blessing in disguise because this has given me time to reflect.

If I didn’t love the school, I don’t think I’d be doing what I was doing now. I have so many exciting ideas for the Student Council and the school, not all of which will materialise: I have come to terms with that. So do so many others. Some dreams were crushed last Term when Council Election results were released.

I knew then it was God’s will for me to do something in Council. And here I stand after about 10 weeks. I don’t even know how I got here. God’s grace overflows and He watches me over all I do, yet something is not right. I can feel it, I know I resonate it and I know the people around me feel it too.

Besides the fact that I’m as impure and sinful as any other man on earth, also something which I should never come to terms with because then I would forget the mercy given to me, there’s something else not right. I can’t place it.

There’s so much going on I just try to put things into perspective and I fail. People are calling for lunch. Sean’s singing I Gotta Feeling. Jaime looks quite miserable. The rest of the councillors are either filming or doing something productive. I wish I could be as productive as them. Now I’m just so stressed and very emotionally burdened.

Alex has been pretty nice to me lately, but I don’t need the nagger friend nowadays as much as I used to I guess. I need someone who takes care of me and stands by me along my way as I do for him. Maybe I’ve found the friend before, but I’m quite lost now.

I’ve been neglecting God quite a bit. But upon saying that, I realised I’ve been praying a lot more too. I wrote my speech on Sunday, doing nothing else because that’s all I could do. So many things play within my mind. I lie in bed every night for a good half-hour to 45 minutes before I can fall asleep. I guess it’s a sign. I can’t sleep in peace these few days. Something’s not right.

I guess this wasn’t how I imagined things to be. I imagined everything to run smoothly, with ideas aplenty and people contributing constructively to council. I imagined a council of 48 dependent on God and looking to Him constantly. I imagined starting out a cell. I imagined Council days out where we spend time together. I just want our council to be successful, viewed upon by the school as being fantastic and a leadership body they would support and I want it to be bonded. 48 people loving each other. Sure, there may be the occasional nutcase, but everyone accepting each other for who they are, playing up each others’ strengths and covering for others’ weaknesses.

But it seems all so difficult. Why? I don’t know either. But it pains me to see it this way. How do I have a good rest knowing all this during the holidays. How do I study in peace. How do I contribute actively to NCC in peace?

I can’t even believe I’m blogging again. Like as if I have so much time. Just to let things out I guess. Better out than in, some would say.

I have really awesome buddies, in class, in NCC, in council, in church. People I can depend on, but no-one I want to get emotionally too attached to. I know how it feels when you don’t really want it and even worse to get thrown out after interest is lost. The 2^nd F in BFF doesn’t hold sometimes.

I prayed as I read Psalm 73 yesterday. And I am always reminded of what I stand for. If I have not love, I am nothing. Love is kind, patient, it does not boast, does not delight in evil, covers a multitude of sins. So much of it I can recite out and blurt out and I stand for. But I never practice.

I don’t mind being the douche of the class, the douche of council, the douche anywhere else, because I believe in leadership through service, care and love. And I’m having a tough time now. Even in class. I like to joke and play along, because it’s so easy. But it’s so ungodly.

People don’t want to sit next to that person. So I will. I’ll move away from Joshy, out of my comfort zone, as much as Joshy is my besty now. I’ll step out onto the crashing waves from my boat. And walk towards the light. And hopefully I’ll be at peace with myself. Whether I go to heaven or not, doesn’t matter.

Hatred is murder in God’s eyes. I don’t want to murder. Murderers never see the kingdom of heaven. Not my kind of thing. Not that I want to see heaven. I want to set my heart right with God. And I’m stressed over it. Trying not to be bitchy. Trying to give everyone a view in council. Trying to run things democratically.

In church, it seems so easy, why not in class? Why not in council. Even NCC seems easier than a context in school. It’s time to love. It’s time to forget my shame and sit next to a total stranger in the SAC, when no –one wants to sit with him. Not hard-heartedly, but to hear him out and be as Christ would be to Him, no matter how far a cry people may think I am. And no matter how far a cry I think of myself as.

Time to make a difference and stand up for my own beliefs. It’s going to hurt even more emotionally, and cause me more sleepless nights, nothing of the sort I was aiming for in school and much less council. But let me tell you this ahead of Monday. You’ll understand why ‘ahead of Monday’ on monday, but let me tell you this: . God did not promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow or sun without rain, but God did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears and light for the way. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. God brought me to it. He’ll bring me through it.

Love you guys.

Extennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnded Essay

2011-05-03T01:57:00.000+08:00

I'm finally at a point where I can say I'm engulfed by the dreaded Extended Essay. Big deal, some may say. I think it's a big deal alright.

Exams are coming up for all my juniors. Before my exams and math port and group 4 project et cetera I have my EE proposal to worry about. And no joke, I want an A on my EE.

After church on Sunday we had Children's Ministry. I was just thinking of We Fall Down by Kutless. It played over and over again. Inside me I just felt very frustrated and angry at the kids. I was thinking that they really had no respect for people older than them and that we were having a really difficult time trying to interact with them, with them constantly running around and berating the entire YG.

But God opened my eyes. Who are we that we are worthy of their respect? Let the children come to me, said Jesus. I don't know how naughty they were then, but Jesus was willing to let them go to Him and be in his presence. What less me? And so I sat and I sang and I told myself to be patient and to love. And so I did. I smiled genuinely and interacted with them to the best of my ability. They were so boisterous and full of energy. It tired us out but I believe it was well worth the effort.

Even my thinking is skewed. People say it's natural to lose patience. But it's human nature, not Christian nature. And my Christian nature tells me to love beyond superficiality. And so I must love. Even in Student Council, in class, around me everywhere, I must love. And that has been my driving force this year. I sometimes get really really mad and I release it all on Daryl and Bryan and QYJ, but all of it is still wrong. Even if not angry, telling others about the people who get me mad is gossip. That's just as bad. And it hurts me. And it hurts them, even if nobody really tells them.

I felt quite moody again. It's just so confusing sometimes, and so difficult to say I'm Christian and act the sort. Especially when no one is watching. It's when it's most difficult. And I want to say with faith that I finished the race and lived to my fullest.

Home to sleep, then up for chilli crab dinner then back to do some work (got none done I think) and watch a cool movie. Slept at 2.

Woke up at 10 to head to Vivo to meet the VPs. It was an effective meeting, got the agenda sorted out for the GM this Wednesday. I was quite happy and got things sorted out. Things are quite superficial from this point on in the blog so if you don't wanna read you can stop haha(:

Then watched Thor with Ashley they all then headed the National Library. Nothing valuable to my EE there. Quite cheesed off. I always doubt myself I don't know why :( I don't know if not being able to find anything is a good or bad thing. Worked till I was brain-dead then left. Rested my head on the way home then did things up till like 12.45am.

It's 2am and I'm finally done. Going down for some dessert but totally overstretched. Lucky rugby cheering got cancelled. >< I have time to come back and rest tomorrow before embarking on mission impossible Chem Assignment 3b. Gotta get my hybridisation and resonance and everything figured out :(

And lots of work still. And hopefully my Chem EE won't be too bad. I shouldn't put so many sad faces. I trust God will pull me through the entire harrowing experience and I will praise Him no matter the result and outcome for pulling me through it and teaching me something valuable along the way.

And here ends my post. Going for dessert then some sleep.

I need a horse! :) haha.

Of the week that happened

2011-04-29T23:38:00.020+08:00

Sorry I've not posted in ages.

This week has been kinda bad for me. And good in some ways too. But I think the mood swings make it bad, and the friends make up for it. I hope. Friends are people you hang out with, call and complain about school and other people with, share secrets with. Kinda no-one now I really talk to. At least Isaac asked if I was okay after a disappointment and worrisome day with EE.

Speaking of EE, let's cover it first. EE mentor was kinda cheesed I didn't reply SMS. Some teachers prefer to have the last word, some don't. I gotta figure it out painstakingly one by one. But the fact that I can SMS teachers already says something about their trust in me, no? (: Thanks. Anyways, talked about my EE. No feasible methodology has been determined. My experiment is likely to yield nothing unless I do it over 5 gazillion years. So I guess I gotta find an alternative method. HPA. Confusing.
It means after 40-50hrs of research, back to the drawing board. I have to go to the library on Sunday to figure something out. Supposed to go for Mayday Rally. Looks like gotta bail on Dad. EE is killing me ><

My EE proposal is due Tuesday and determines whether I've gotta find a new mentor or not. No sound EE means no confirmed mentor. Haizz. I don't mind not sleeping on Monday night. Tests are over. I can afford one night without sleep if I need that long to research and study and get my EE in order. Cause now, before Group 4 project kicks in with Math Port, afterwhich is mugging for MYEs, I still have time to get it in order. Afterwhich, I might as well repeat Year 5. ><

Econs IA was returned to me too. I got a lot of comments telling me, basically, my econs sucks. I try...not as if I don't. Maybe just not cut out to be like Dad. Dad would have taken Further Econs and Further Maths together anyways. But Dad scraped through Physics hahah. I hope to do better.

Test results for English is still not back yet...sighs. I hope my IOP goes alright. Thanks Mr Daniel Lim for your feedback and advice, and can't wait to have Mrs Yeo (along with all our scripts) back :\ And hopefully our English lessons will be fruitful for the rest of the few months left before IB exams. :O

Chinese is not out yet either. Took Chem today, so that's not out either. Other results were decent.
Physics re-test: 29/30
Maths: 58/60 (yay. TYL)
Econs: 11/20. Need improvement. I suck in econs. And not like I don't try. I think my other subjects kinda show for it.

I can also say that TOK has been an absolute confusion, albeit VERY interesting(: I really enjoy lessons, even though too abstract sometimes. I always come out a little dazed, but realise I don't ever question my thinking. It's something about Mitchell I admire. He always questions till he knows. Even if I know, I wonder if I should question how my teacher knows. >< But all this is utter confusion. It'll be over a year from now. Thank goodness.

Ok academics aside, this week has been kinda good for me. Trusting in God all the more every day. I'm trying to cut down on gossip. It's a really bad habit. Hope I remove it in totality. Gossip is a sin after all.

I raised $73 for Project Infinity. If you've been following me on FB, I pledged to run 1 round per $1 someone donates to me. So I have to run 29.2km. Can I? I don't know, but if I'm free tomorrow off duty from SC, I will do my best to run 29.2km, all for the kids. I wish everyone could be as privileged as me and I feel obliged to give back to community for the tons it has given me. So, tomorrow we'll run until our legs give way.

I also received my appointment for Student Council. To Kyubantai, sooner or later if you read this you will hear of it, but this is the reason I didn't sign up for West District council. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to manage and I didn't want to hinder the good work you guys have established and continue to do. So I hope the work you do continues to bring West District to greater heights as I lead the Student Council in my own school to greater heights.

Well, thanks to everyone for placing your faith in me. I will prove my doubters wrong because of my believers. I trust I did not let you down in 2010 and I won't let you down for the year ahead. That's my promise to everyone and I hope to work with my team of 48 to let ACS (Independent) thrive and soar on wings like eagles. Well, not everything in council is so smooth, our transition will take about till mid-July so that's 3 months or so. We can wait, but hopefully can get the show on the road before that. And hopefully we work together as one. You'll hear more about our theme in the days to come plus invest. We'll light the school and the world.(:

I've been very tired amidst all this, and coupled with the mood swings constant news provides me, it's been quite ouch. 5.2 Exodus has not been working well as a class either. Not teacher's fault. Just our gel. It's not hard enough. >< We need to come together, but no one cares at all. Looks like class leadership needs to do something. Or maybe they've done enough and we need to do something.

But we're all busy doing our own things. It's really getting bothersome. It would be more so if I actually genuinely cared. But I care for the things I love. TOK - Emotion.

I really miss Prefects. I keep on going back. I love them all soooo much. I call them kids now cause that's what they really are and the ones that keep the board going are SOOO passionate I really love them to bits. They amaze me and make me think back and ponder if I was ever like that. I admire them so much, and respect them regardless of age really.

And lastly, I have a confession: I clapped after band tuned on Monday after chapel. It was funny while it lasted but the novelty has died down. It got good reception though but bad example. Don't follow please, peeps. The clapping yesterday by a few of 5.2 was quite funny too when watching the program on the SAC TV. Made me feel young again.

And that kinda summed up my week. My cerems fit me.

God knows where He'll bring me next week. And maybe I'll have more time to post. I didn't rant too much here, though I boiled more than once today and over the week definitely quite a few times. Ok time to sleep. Got rounds to run tomorrow.

Jem

Life and KBT

2011-04-23T00:47:00.001+08:00

You don't wanna know what I did for Good Friday. After church and lunch, back home, sleep, lepak, eat durian, lepak, youtubed, dinnered, home, lepak. Need to do some serious work soon. Not today. Have lots to do btw.
Maybe tomorrow :P Hahah.

Ok let's talk about something interesting today. Thought provocative(:
Kyubantai - a place I can call home.
KBT was my cadet officer course syndicate and we're amazing people (even me, though I sometimes doubt myself in NCC. I wish my seniors instilled more confidence in me, but because they themselves didn't have much, what more me? So I had to learn. From scratch. From my friends around me during COC). I learnt lots from them and it's always fun messing with them and chatting with them. All of us MEREPEK (talk rubbish).

I really love all of them loads. I kinda would be suckish at interacting with girls in IB if not for the girls in KBT hahah because the girls there were all so fun to work with. Pretty crazy, but all fun. When we first met we hardly knew each other but it got sooo much better.

Let's now talk about something we HARDLY ever talk about and I'm one to talk -.- If I'm not wrong, I am the most well-off person in KBT. Yet there's never any talk about it, which I'm thankful for because I'm not one to boast about it. I'm comfortable in my eyes, around average for ACS boys standard I think, and it's obviously a far cry from HQ NCC (i.e. KBT). It doesn't make me feel bad but it, but it makes me think very hard. I am so privileged, and lucky that I can get along with everyone easily. Amazing. It makes me love them more. (:

Then we have smoking: people in KBT smoke. Underaged, no doubt. I was a prefect and am a student councillor HAHA but I'm not one to stop people out of school. They're my friends and I care for them, so I do ask them to stop, especially because it plays on my conscience. But a more burning consideration: they smoke. And I chat with them while they do. Middle of the night. Smoke into me. I'm a secondhand smoker. Dangerous? I don't really care.

But that's not the issue. The simple issue is that I'm so close to this which I consider a vice. Not that I am against it, I don't mind others doing it but I won't do it. But like sin, it can be so tempting. I could have asked for a puff, and they'd have no issue passing their cigarette to me and letting me puff once. And one puff can change a whole lot of things. And a few more puffs and I could find myself in serious trouble. I never did puff and hopefully never will. It's really scary imagining it sometimes. I am on the same ground as this people yet our backgrouds are so different that I could never bring myself to imagine smoking. And yet it happens, in front of my face. I breathe it in and back out and think nothing of it.

For this is KBT.

And lastly. Getting into tangles with the law - never will I ever get near that. Outings are conducted with seniors. Almost always. And once, we got screened. I handed in my IC and my name was taken down. Scary incident. You never know when something happens and I find myself in a NPC or NPP waiting for my folks to pick me up. I'll never get to go out with KBT again if it happens, that's for sure. I see the law and how youths my age break it in front of my very eyes. Things that not all ACS boys see. I'm privileged in this aspect. I get to see things for what they truly are. Cigarette packs are thrown across the group just as the police car comes to a halt near our group. We have dinner usually at a void deck. We've progressed to the roof garden of J8 hahah...but that's in J8 ofcourse.

So...life's hard. Life's difficult. Life is painful. Life is life. I see it for myself. KBT opened my eyes as much as it opened my heart. Thanks for teaching me so much, guys. Time to go sleep for now, and hopefully be VERY productive tmr.

edit: I just wanna quote from Dom's blog here now: ""Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose". While partly true, I believe however that God had planned and put all of you in my life, and it was your decision to be my friend that has made all the difference. :)" Thanks, everyone.

<3 Jem

Holy Weekend.

2011-04-22T00:22:00.000+08:00

It's April 22. :O
Happy Birthday Dad! :D HAHA. And it's Good Friday.

Good indeed it is. It is added rest but it means so much more. I have some thoughts I typed out earlier. Scroll to the previous post(:

Well it's just midnight so I'll share with you some of the things that went on in school today.

Well, firstly SO many rumours about everything is going around. But most of it is rubbish. And I hope I'm not caught anywhere in it. Student Council hype is getting up. I'm quite hyped about EE now...lol. Hopefully it gets out of the way so I can hype up with Student Council :D

Tweeting quite often...but not in school lah.(: Realised many twitterholics and hardcore twits are around(:
And I'm not one of them yay hahah.

School was cool. Today was everything day.
Theo got 12/30 or something like that for his IOP which was quite funny considering he spent yesterday complaining about not having slides thus not being able to conduct an effective presentation. Eyes rolled :P
2 hours of maths, 1 hour chem, 1 hour phys (HL much), then a bit of english and econs and some recess in the middle before ending the day with PC.

Rushed to physics and then back to school with macs. Did sound crew and a lot of screw ups which only makes us more dependent on God I guess. Not everything goes our way. Especially technology. Dr Wee came to preach and it was pretty amazing and insightful.(:

Well then back home at 11 and going to sleep now I think. Service tomorrow morning, don't wanna be late or sleep during service.(: Then it's back to work? :O My blog is getting boring. Tomorrow I'll post something up with regards to KBT and NCC. And me tumbled in all of it.

And that's all for today folks.

Dark Gethsamane

2011-04-22T00:13:00.000+08:00

He stood in front of many
Condemned. King of the Jews, they said.
Laughed. Mocked. Full of spite.

And He was judged. He will be back to do likewise
And He was guilty of being guiltless.
Of loving the world in all His uniqueness.
Of loving the world like His father did.
This amazing man who was God who was man.

And flogged Him they did. Whipped and whipped.
And whipped and whipped and whipped.
In front of hundreds and thousands.
Whipped Him till they could no more. Everything
Was raw and sore and red and bleeding. And there I could see my sin.

Each drop of blood being one. And the blood flowed and flowed and my sin flows.
How precious now is that flow indeed. And his flesh exposed and son of man humbled
To his underclothes and his raw flesh a striking red. One could almost see through
Him or could they really see what this Messiah was meant to be. One to love but instead condemned
In front of a crowd. A crowd who welcomed him just the weekend earlier.

This Friday is Good indeed. For all but two. God and God, one who died
and one who witnessed the death from heaven. Essentially the same...but different.
Really? And they placed him upon that piece of wood. The crucifix, the cross, the
dear old T which means so much to you and me. And they put him up there
Like a display. Do not touch - only for display.

And they nailed him onto the cross. Nailed him like a photo frame. Like an object.
Useless but maybe not. Man He was and so God He was, both ways and there he was.
Hand, hand, feet, nailed in hard with a hammer. Who was the poor soul that did it.
I wonder how He felt after that. Life achievement? Forgiven for he knew not what he did to Him.
And there He lay. And then He rose, for He was risen up next to two sinners.

The lamb of God, blemishless upon the cross in between two sinners. Two bread with yeast.
A lamb burger but not really either. For one would be in paradise and one not. And upon there
He hung, the pain unbelievable. And He endured. And he drunk wine from a cloth.
And He hung there. Crowds watching slowly dispersed. Few were left. All was stripped that
fateful night in Gethsemane Dark Gethsemane.

And He hung on. Nail in bone, bone on nail. Through and through. Larcerations to save the souls
of sinful man on whom the nails deserve to belong. But He took the nails. For us He took them.
For us He let us nail it into Him. Oh the humiliation. And to think we don't think twice sometimes
when doing the stupidest of things. God bless His soul. God bless God. And there He committed
His soul into His Father's hands. And there He died. Earlier which He said something, I think.

It.
Is.
Finished.

OOH a quiz! :D

2011-04-21T23:55:00.000+08:00

I see Jon Tang has upright morals. My turn? :D

NAME: Jeremy Ong
AGE: 17
BIRTHDATE: 6 Jan 1994
PRESENT ADDRESS: Seletar Hills

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last Beverage: Grape Juice from communion? Haha.
2. Last Phone Call: Mum
3. Last Text Message: Mum
4. Last Song you Listened to: Dark Gethsemane (I think)
5. Last Time you cried: Last Sunday I think. Or something.

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone Twice: No
7. Been Cheated on: No
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: No
9. Lost someone special: Yeah. I guess.
10. Been Depressed: Yeah.
11. Been Drunk and Threw up: No.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Orange
13. Orange
14. Orange

LAST YEAR (2010), HAVE YOU:
15. Made a New Friend: Yes
16. Fallen out of love: Dunno?
17. Laughed until you Cried: Hahah. Yup. :D
18. Met Someone who Changed you: Yes.
19. Found out who your true friends were: Yeah.
20. Found out someone was talking about you: You know, that Jon Tang ah...
21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list: Mum is not on my friends' facebook list.

GENERAL:
22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life: AT LEAST 95%
24. Do you have any pets: Nope. I want.
25. Do you want to change your name: Nope.
26. What did you do for your last birthday: Quiet celebration cause everyone was on holiday no-one really wanted to go out...spent the day slacking including being miserable at there being 28 45-pointers. Was wondering how to live up to that standard. Dinner at RWS. Nonsense. :P
27. What time did you wake up today: 6am
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Econs IA
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: Appointment with Bed every night(:
30. Last time you saw your Mother: Dunno. I can pop my head out now.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Rid of sin. :O
32. What are you listening to right now: Nothing
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Don't think so.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: Lol. Homework, EE blahblahblah
35. ______
36. BLANK (cuvette?): HUH.
37. Nickname: Jem
38. Relationship Status: It's kinda single but complicated but dunno how to explain lol.
39. Zodiac sign: Capricorn
40. He or She: He looking for a she
41. Elementary: ACS Primary
42. High School: ACSI
43. College: Somewhere over the rainbow
44. Hair colour: Black
45. Long or short: Short
46. Height: LIAR JON TANG 1.8M. I'm 1.69 lol. I think.
47. Do you have a crush on someone? Hehehe kinda. :P
48. What do you like about yourself: My good looks? :D
49. Piercings: No
50. Tattoos: No
51. Righty or lefty: Lefty

FIRSTS:
52. First surgery: 8 stitches for tripping over stairs and giving myself a natural piercing with the teeth through the lip.
53. First piercing: Ya lor. Natural one. :D
54. First best friend: Daryl I think :D
55. First sport you joined: Tennis!
56. First vacation: London or Gold Coast!
58. First pair of trainers: Whazzat? Dunno

RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating: Going to have a Kit Kat Ice-cream downstairs after this.
60. Drinking: Nothing
61. I'm about to: post proper and sleep early. :D
62. Listening to: EH HOW MANY TIMES TO ASK
63. Waiting for: this to finish

YOUR FUTURE:
64. Want kids?: YES. BOYS>< REALLY.
65. Get Married?: Yes.(:
66. Career?: Humble servant of the nation? :D SAF? MOE? Or househusband?

WHICH IS BETTER:
67. Lips or eyes: Huh.
68. Hugs or kisses: Hugs
69. Shorter or taller: Shorter
70. Older or Younger: Younger
71. Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Does nice stomach mean it's big? Lol if so, then nice arms.
73. Sensitive or loud: Both. :D
74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship duh
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: Both :D

HAVE YOU EVER:
76. Kissed a stranger: No.
77. Drank hard liquor: Err. :P Try lah. Never drink like a party animal.
78. Lost glasses/contacts: Nope
79. Sex on first date: NO AND I WILL NEVER ><
80. Broke someone's heart: Think so. Maybe.
82. Been arrested: No but I've been screened. Don't tell Mum.
83. Turned someone down: No.
85. Fallen for a friend: No.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: I must, but I believe that God is my provider and keeper too(:
87. Miracles: Yup(:
88. Love at first sight: Nope.
89. Heaven: Yup!(:
90. Santa Claus: Yup(:
91. Kiss on the first date: Nope.
92. Angels: Yup(:

Of a lack of sleep

2011-04-20T22:42:00.000+08:00

Blogging again is quite fun(:

Fell asleep last night at like 3am wihtout throwing in a post. Nothing much happened in school. Just stoned in class, did a LOT of mathematics last night till like 2am. :D The Wah Chee crossing is finally open. Had dinner and a bad stomachache along the way home with Ash Loh so got off at KAP, freeloaded the toilet and boarded the next bus home.

It's pretty insightful going home with a junior. (: It's very fun spending time chit-chatting. Sleeping on the bus or listening to muttons is quite fun too. Reading Sound of Waves on the bus back is...kinda fun lol. Helps me fall asleep. =D

Eventful much.

Woke up after 3 hours of sleep. School --> Hot chocolate @ the roundabout with Titus. Duty was pretty uneventful too. Then REW was okay and then back to class. Got 23/30 for mock IOP hahah. Top class! And I did it last night from 2am to 3am. A LOT of typos but not bad already. (: Taking pride in my work.

Chem prac was fun too, played with the stick and ball models. Molymods or something like that. Then maths class then Lee Li Eng speaker of the year. It was utterly boring, but siting next to Edwin was a relief. Also had Ms Chng to humour us.

Math test after Lee Li Eng was quite fun. I could do pretty much everything I think. Then tried to do up as much of the Group 4 project as we could. Home to do some research. (:

I still have quite a lot on my mind...plus I get home after dark most days and can't play piano. Waiting to play piano. At least I've cleared most of my NAPFA. 2.4 A, pull-ups B :P oops, SBJ C yay, Sit-Ups A, waiting to do SitNReach and Shuttle.

Tomorrow will prove to be exciting. 2 hours of maths. :O Still have Econs IA, Group 4 project and EE to do. Probably hold EE till the long weekend lol, along with Physics and other maths and science homework. :P PC will be quite fun too...then tuition then Maundy Thursday service.

Ok time to go do work :D

Falling Asleep.

2011-04-18T23:59:00.019+08:00

Of course, tweaked timing again.
It's 4.58am now, I just finished Chem IA and Chinese HW. So much for wanting to finish up Econs IA and study maths too. I think after this I'll go take a nap.

Haha probably think I'm mad for sleeping so late. I kinda slept from 11pm to 3am on the computer.
I woke up groggy, went 'Shit' when I saw the time and then put on my glasses and resumed work.

I'd been working on the Chem IA since 8pm thereabouts so a breakthrough was miraculous for me. I just tweaked everything in every way I could to get my answer WHOO :D Time for my friends to suffer tomorrow haha.

I know LLE is coming up I wonder how I'm going to stay awake for that. Tomorrow will be a long day I think. Trying to finish up Group IV project proposal tomorrow too. Hardworking much right? (:

Yesterday (Monday) was kinda hardcore. I just realised it's week 5 already. Midway through term...very soon Gp IV project day will drop like a bomb alongside Maths Port and EE will surface now and then while I suddenly realise mid-years are coming. Haha. Tough? Very. I can't believe I thought Y3-Y4 was tough.

The day went pretty smoothly, econs test damn funny. All open paper 'shit shit shit'. I kinda followed what Ms Chng told us to do about the first 3 parts and did it in 15mins leaving 25mins for the last part, but I wasted most of that away wondering how to do it then wrote some nonsense in 10mins. Crap. :P But can pass lah I think. Suppose. Hope.

Other than that, the day was pretty dry and me and Joshy wanted to crash by TOK. Kinda braindead. I wonder how I'll survive tomorrow. REW, Phys, Econs 2 periods, PE, English, Chem. Die. IOP how. Haven't done anything for it. Maybe I'll forgo the 1 hour nap I was planning to have after this :P

Goodnight world, as people's days are just beginning.

Even superman needs sleep

Of runs and vomits

2011-04-17T21:42:00.001+08:00

Hahah. Life's good.
Let's just cover some things first I've not covered.

Met Andrew Fok and Max at Fusion last night. Hahah they're both enlisting next month. Kinda miss them. I remember looking up to them when I was a junior in ACPB. I wonder who looked up to me. I never instilled fear like the seniors did when I was a junior, so I was always in awe of them. Nowadays the prefects have very individualistic minds, they know what they want and what they don't want. Smart people.

Also met Benedict Tay hahah. In PLMC Sanctuary, about 11 months since I first met him, same place too! =D Back then he was in the process of running for HP and he's grown much since. I chat with him from time to time but can't say to know him extremely well despite him being my counterpart from a brother school haha. Learnt that he got baptised through facebook photos...which I hadn't seen for a longgg while hahah. Congrats to him; he's definitely a role model for the students in ACS (BR). (:

I wonder when I'm going to get baptised. I don't feel like I'm ready yet and don't want to jump into it so soon. I daresay, however, that truly God has worked most in my life this year. It is when we are rock-bottom do we realise His grace and mercy and how He works in our lives. I stand in awe and amazement day after day.
My cup runneth over. Let God change me step by step.

Today was the NTUC 350 run thingy. I don't even know the name of the run hahah. Well, sleeping at 1am last night wasn't such a good idea. Lol. Woke up before 6 and groggily got to the big NTUC building. Flag-off at 7.31am and only crossed the start line at 7.32am lol. Came back with a clock time of 57.15, so I probably did a 56. I amaze myself. I have no idea how I did it btw. :P

The run was okay I guess, pretty fun. At the 8km mark I tripped LOL. Screwed up route. Lucky I didn't fall if not I'd have hobbled back to the finish line. Had half a cup of 100plus at the final 100plus point and at the 9k mark I felt a bit crappy then I threw up next to the esplanade and almost one more time on the bridge. Threw up again at the end of the run but completed it within the hour, which is amazing still. It was SOOO hot. Oh and between the 6 and 7km mark one lady overtook me. They flagged off like 15mins after us or something so yeah I got pwned. I said out loud "wah lau" and I'm sure I was voicing the thoughts of all the real men around me HAHA.

Ok then finished, met Jing Fei, Chern Jie, Ken and Fred. Josh came in at the 1h09 mark and Dad came in 1h19. Kinda had to rush to church and then quite shack throughout the entire Palm Sunday service. Slept like a baby on the bus back after lunch. Piano was alright. I gotta find time to practice omg. IB having no time. :P

Ok time to get down to some serious studying for econs.

There are girls in school now haha. So cool right.

941?

2011-04-17T00:29:00.000+08:00

Haha. This is fun, posting again after a while. 940 posts from ages ago. You didn't miss much in my life actually. The most enjoyable year of my life was leading ACPB, being with KBT and having so much fun in the process without letting studies deteriorate. Yay.(:
I guess I gotta find some outlet. Maybe I'll resume posting. Am I mad enough to? I have so much on my plate already. Heheh but I post for myself to read?

NCC has been kinda hectic for me, I'm involved for this year's NDP (REAL THING :D) hahah only as a trainer though. Go check out the ACS(I) NCC Land blog if you wanna see what I've achieved over the last year or so of not updating. But I lay down my earthly crowns.
Kyubantai is the name of my 59th Cadet Officer Course syndicate. And we're a bunch of awesome people I love them oh so much. They mean a lot to me cause we spend SO MUCH TIME together. It'll hurt to be one of the first (if not the first) to go in to NS.

I'm out of Prefects (not such a happy thing btw) and in Student Council. Voted in last month, though Daryl wasn't. =\ Student Council is getting hectic. We finally decided on a theme! :D Hahah exciting stuff; I believe it was a God-chosen theme. I feel so attached to prefects still, it's kinda unhealthy, say my friends. I'm especially attached to my successor and CFC still very much haha. Chris is doing an awesome job so far and I'm sooo proud of him and the current CFC are just darlings, as gay as that may sound. They're all amazingly motivated people burning with the same passion I STILL burn with :)
Posts not out yet for SC, hoping for an EXCO position or something...somewhere I can lead because I know I can do it, and I want to let God place me somewhere because I think I'll serve Him best knowing I'm where He wants me...even if it means not being in EXCO(:

I've grown in God too, I hope, as much as I didn't really ask for it (hahah God works however he wants), He has been amazing. I go to church every Sunday because I really want to now, not because I feel the need to. And when I go in 10minutes early, which I like to do, I really quieten down and pray and I can feel that shiver down my spine...always in awe. Holy Week's coming, so is REW. And things have happened, not so desirable, but they happened anyway, but I'll leave God to settle them and just plod on.

And I'm playing Grade 8 now. I got 123 or 124 last year for my G6 practical, quite happy with that. Aiming to complete by March next year.

Got quite a few other commitments too.
Trying for NYAA Gold.
Wondering when to do my SATs, if at all. I kinda wanna go overseas to study (USA) but I won't unless I get an overseas scholarship. If not, Singapore education is fine. Overseas exposure is always a good thing though.
Err that's about it actually. I'm still running. My 10k personal best is now 53m56, so I'm happy there. Almost through with NAPFA >< only pull-ups left.

There's a fundraising biathlon called project infinity on :P I wanna run for the kids. I'm aiming to do 1.6k in the pool and 40k outside...it'll be by the time NAPFA is over I guess, so no problems there. Hope I don't injure myself. Will try to train up for it.

IB has been pretty stressful. 2 tests coming up, maths and econs i THINK hahah not even sure what tests. But I've been doing well in PCM. It was a good choice. TYL? :D EE is kinda killing me now, I've been praying hard about it. Hopefully can finalise something concrete to show Mrs Quek then can start experimenting? Then if it doesn't work (quoting Mr GT, it won't HAHA) then can change fast. Will dedicate every Tues and Weds in T3 for EE after common tests.

Life as a whole is alright. Family been alright, Dad just came back from San Fran for a business trip. And Term 2 Week 4 is starting after tomorrow...it seems like yesterday the March holidays ended. Hahah.
This year, Daryl's not in my class. 5.2 has been pretty exciting but still have a few people which are champion irritators. But I will love everyone as a good Christian witness I guess. God will grant me strength and wisdom to do that? I've been doing well in class so far like topping physics test (23/40 LOL), so no worries there. I quite focussed on schoolwork I think. Maybe a bit too much sometimes? Must blog to destress.

Like every angsty teenager, don't really have a friend I stick to...Daryl's the one still HAHA but we're not in the same class anymore. Not that I mind though hahah...and I guess for some other people we're kinda distant nowadays. =( is it just oversensitive me? And there's the lovebug that bites all of us...but I told myself not till after IB? NS? Uni? Or not forever? Hahah fail lah Jem~

I'm running 10k in 7hours. I should seriously sleep now? :D Will post again. Feels like me.(: again.(:
Maybe tomorrow when I am deadcatz for Econs test lol.

Jemery :D

Posting.

2010-06-11T23:59:00.000+08:00

Damn. It's been too long since I last posted. Need to keep a journal for GYLC man.

It's 2am now but posting on Saturday morning for Friday so changing timestamp AGAIN.

Wednesday was alright. plans changed and stuff, not too happy about that.

Thursday and Friday (today) were fantastic.

I had piano today which was alright.

Thanks to Lenz, Brandon, Jowll, Bryan, Daryl for the hugs or half-hugs. =) they're gonna help me miss you guys less for the 2 weeks I'll be gone! by the way I won't be accessible to anyone except family so even if i'm online MSN don't bother IM-ing me.

And if you don't wanna incur a high handphone bill, don't SMS either. =)

If it's one thing I learnt the last few days: don't worry about work. Enjoy first worry later.

And that God is good, no matter what. =) And God gives good friends who I can trust always.

Too lazy to post anything else.

Nights folks.

Jem

eeney meeney miney mo.

By Grace Through Faith.

2010-06-09T02:43:00.001+08:00

I have been made cognizant that I have not yet blogged. xD

It's almost 3am (as usual I changed the timestamp so it's recorded as Tuesday's post).

Gosh I came on so late Noel is off too! :O

Bleh. Still wide awake = problems.

If you must know. I was stopped in the middle of my run last night by Mum and Josh. Lucky they knew the route. Once I got into the car it started pouring. I ran about 5.6km before I was stopped heheh. xD Yeah at 1am, my run was...err...complete? Strange thing was that heart rate went back to normal after the run which means I wasn't putting in enough effort I think. BLEH.

Oh well. Went out with Daryl to watch Iron Man 2. Oh my gosh. Fabulous movie. =) Plot is kinda weak right? But I love the technology and the house and all. All the details are good but what binds the details together is weak. It was a fantastic movie.

Lol we went to LJS for lunch then I split the coke like a typical moron. Funny thing is we hardly overreacted. In fact. I don't think I reacted at all. We changed seat and pretended like it didn't happen (the spill on my pants was quite significant but nothing spilled on my shirt). I am a champion. It dried during the movie, no problems there.

Then we went to Funan to watch the interschool gaming competition a while. Err. DOTA is...cool? Sorry man. I have no appreciation for this kinda thing. I'd have loved to spectate a CS match though. =) Then jalan jalan a bit then we parted.

I went home to slack. And I'm still slacking now.

Matthew 6:2-4

2 Therefore, when you do a charitable deed, do not sound a trumpet before you as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory from men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. 3 But when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 that your charitable deed may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will Himself reward you openly.

If you get what I mean, yeah I'm not mentioning about any good I do anymore, not because I'm not happy with myself but rather because I think doing good means not expecting recognition. I'll start now. =)

Well holidays is the time to catch up on friendships. Make new friends. Yet I feel really lonely. I don't know why. =( Some emo-trigger pulled off? I made countless new friends these hols (and a bit before) yet I don't really feel like I'm high or anything. Just. Plain. Normal. Bleh.

Never mind. I'll get through this. Sooner or later. =) I hope. =|

____________________________

I should cut gaming already.

Wasting time. Got lots to do. And err...get started on. Hahaha.

Cheerio folks.

Jem

2 Cor 12:9 - But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Smiles.

2010-06-07T22:46:00.002+08:00

How easy it is to smile.

How difficult it is to smile genuinely.

Well I'll tell you something. In all pain, and in all sorrow.

A friend can and will make you smile genuinely. That's how precious real friends are.

But I also beg to differ.

When I smile, I always smile genuinely. I find there's no point faking.

Yet, friends are what makes me smile a real smile.

Friends who care.

I don't go to friends to dwell in my problems.

I go to my friends to share in my joys, share in their joys.

And I forget all my problems. Momentarily or not.

Because that's what friends are for. To share happiness with. Sure if you have problems, we could solve them together, but ultimately, friends are for fun and laughter, peace and joy.

Worries are all forgotten too.

_______________________________

Today was wasted.

Woke up at 2. Slacked till 4 plus.

Went to school.

Went for tuition.

Back home. Good break I'm having but I shouldn't be having one judging by my workload. =O

Going for 15k tonight. No, I don't have any deathwish.

Jem

it's no surprise

Resuming Running

2010-06-06T23:56:00.000+08:00

Hahah sorry I didn't post the previous night.

It's 2am on Monday morning but I tweaked timing a bit

Yesterday was pretty normal.

So was today.

Played soccer then home then worked then now slacking.

Oh this post is so short.

I ran 10.5k with the brother today. 69m48s. Slow slow. But will improve I suppose.

We ran at 12mn exactly hahaha. Awesome night run.

Looks like nothing much else to talk about. Can't go chek jawa myself tomorrow so will like cycle to meet up with Bryan and Daryl (though DC doesn't know yet) and then cycle back home.

Then sleep and then do bio coursework prep and stuff. Gotta plan out my week of holidays properly if not will fail.

Hmmm....also was listening to History Maker. =D Nice song. He who has clean hands and a pure heart will ascend the hill of the Lord. I have to clean my hands and purify my heart before I can ascend God's hill. And I gotta do it soon...

Ok nights folks take care. =D

Jem

all heaven sings and round me rings

Daryl's quizzie.

2010-06-04T23:33:00.002+08:00

Hai Daryl thanks for letting me steal this.

30 random facts about me. =)

1. I love my name. =D

2. I'm turning 17 next January. xD

3. I have only 1 CCA now (that I'm active in) besides prefects.

4. I like the term 'Head Honcho'. It sounds cool. I think I'll rename Prefects. We'll be Honchos so I can be Head Honcho. xD

5. Contrary to popular belief. My NCC (Land) unit is led by a USM not a CSM. xD

6. I like orange.

7. I'm trying to go healthy by drinking fruit juice instead of the usual.

8. Daryl's either sad, being dumb (with me) or sleeping at any one time. I'm usually awake during his sleeping time so I can update him after he wakes up.

9. I like dog dogs. Not human dogs. I want a Husky-German Shepherd cross named Holly. =) Or if a guy, err...I'll think of something.

10. I really like chocolate ice-cram so if you want to make me happy buy me chocolate ice-cream. But I don't like it with all the nuts and stuff inside. I just want pure chocolate ice-cream.

11. I like old school rock. xD

12. I hate Jap food. Sorry. Lol. And the only veggies I eat are those in Caesar salad.

13. I think chinese is my biggest downfall.

14. I am a lazy pig who has yet to get back on his feet to go running to train for a 21k run.

15. I think Daryl's being zealous in his EOY aim but wishes him all the best. xD

16. I found my phone cable and am now looking for adam lambert to put on my phone =D

17. I want a pair of prescription sunglasses. =) Just normal like err Oakleys. Not Raybans or anything fancy.

18. I don't think I've gotten high before on the smell at petrol stations but I think it's pretty nice.

19. I am playing CS now believe you me. xD I average 10 kills and a lot more deaths on a normal server. But I average 100 kills and about the same deaths in a 30 minute deathmatch.

20. I am also miserably single like Daryl.

21. I hardly watch TV. Pathetic? I know.

22. I'm glad that this year's Parade Commander for NDP has had big dreams since he was my age. I wish to emulate this kind of people.

23. I'm not gay.

24. I mix up NCC and prefect stuff sometimes in the most embarrassing situations.

25. I don't do these things (quizzes) often. :)

26. I like making new friends. Sometimes. Hahah. And I like friends who stick.

27. Daryl sucks at English too. Refer to #27 of Daryl's and find the typo error inside.

28. I still love maths and think I'm the biggest failure of a President that the Maths Competition Team has ever had due to my horrendous mark for A Math this semester. But I pride myself on being the first and last SINGAPOREAN president of MCT. And like if I even am president since MCT is currently dead.

29. I am collecting my coins in a big jar. =D

30. I'm getting my biometric passport with the worst photo ever inside. =D Doesn't matter anyways lol as long as the Ang Mohs in DC don't take me for anything else besides a young lovely GLYC participant.

Cheers.

Klassifieds

2010-06-04T23:27:00.002+08:00

Hey.

Today was awesome.

Woke up at 8 believe you me. Wasted my morning away before leaving for school (church) to meet A. Julie and 3 YD/YG mates to talk about LWMC YF. Love using these acronyms.

I slept on the bus ride there. But before that I saw a Klassifieds.

I thought straits times was like...getting cool or something.

Then I saw the front cover...Berita Harian. Ok at least I wasn't in shock after that. -.-

There was a guy playing Baby by Justin Bieber out loud on the bus. Irritant.

He got off 2 stops after I got on anyways so I was fine. =)

And got to school, then had meeting then hung around with the Prefects/played soccer then went off for Shabu Shabu with Mum for dinner then piano. =)

Great stuff. The night is young.

Jem

use somebody

RMUN 2010 Day 3

2010-06-03T23:30:00.004+08:00

I remember feeling sick on Day 1, and after Day 1.

To be honest. I felt like crap because I went in to RMUN with so many worries.

Just thinking about my ginormous workload and all.

Made me feel so down. No mood to debate at all.

Yet now on Day 3. I look back. And I think to myself. This is one of the most memorable moments in time, where we really had the time of our lives. Though it's true friends we made may not last very long, I'm glad I made friends. I'm glad I got to know really nice, sweet people who, after intense debate, knew how to chillax and unwind, and just enjoy themselves.

Debates for Day 3 were awesome. =D Really fun to have, I hope nobody was offended by the rubbish flowing freely like a fountain out of my mouth. :O But I do know we all enjoyed ourself. Thanks to Security Council of RMUN 2010 for making my RMUN experience a most enjoyable one. It has moved me to see such a loving and bonded council, ready to have dinner breakfast and blah blah blah together. =D

Dinner and Dance was extremely enjoyable too, thank you guys for having so much fun. Dinner was good and dancing was slow till I (yes I'm proud to say) started the line and everyone joined in and had a great time. =)

And congrats Directors on a well pulled off RMUN 2010. =D It was extremely enjoyable.

To the following:

Dylan and Ern Chuen --> Thanks for being so funny and really awesome people throughout these 3 days, making it extremely fun for us with your antics and all. =)

Jervis --> Hahah Malaysian! =) thanks for not taking heed of any of the rubbish I spoke about and being so funny and sporting, always bringing to our attention your...nationality and lack of knowledge on Singaporean issues. You made RMUN special to me in that way.

Woon Wei and Zi En --> Thanks for sitting next to me and stuff. =) you guys BOTH rocked and made my RMUN experience enjoyable and VERY comfortable, compared to sitting next to some overly hardcore dude.

Jan --> Bet you don't even remember my name. HAHAHA. Well you and your commie friends have been...very...central. =D hahah well done to RI on giving you guys China lah. Good choice, you guys fit the role. Lol. Well I didn't understand most of your chinese but your presence and company has been rather enjoyable. Fine, very enjoyable. THANKS. =)

Ralene --> Though I didn't really know you very well before like...day 3 breakfast lol I guess it's been nice making friends and getting to know one another. Thanks for err...a very emotional speech that left me thinking. And feeling dumb as usual. xD But looks like we all enjoyed ourselves in the end, so thanks! =D

Zakrie --> From being a problem (not you, but India) to being a great ally (lol the world is agasp), it's been nice knowing you, discussing how Satiyam is EXACTLY as he was since Primary School till now, and having a whole load of fun together, and for being a fantastic diplomat, thanks =)

Shaun --> Hahah SHAUN! =) Thank you for being so cool and sporty, always ready to talk nonsense and being relaxed during lunch and stuff. :) You deserved Best Delegate (and most hardcore too) yet the time I spent with you has proven to be extremely enjoyable. Thanks for spending time together, sitting next to each other (even though French-UK ties are SO MUCH BETTER HAHA) and getting on the train and pang-sehing everyone else together. I'm glad to have found a friend in you.

RMUN WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN THE SAME WITHOUT ANY OF YOU AND THANK YOU FOR BEING SUCH AWESOME DUDES AND DUDETTES.

I APPRECIATE IT LOADS AND RMUN 2010 SECURITY COUNCIL MEANS LOADS TO ME.

MEET UP SOON!

Lurve,

Jem

PS THANKS DIAN hahah how could I forget you. Of course not. Thanks for ALL THE PHOTOS. omg this rocks. meet up soon together with everyone else k!

RMUN 2010 Day 2

2010-06-02T21:30:00.002+08:00

I guess this was pretty fun today.

I could speak with some form of confidence, after being very hidden on Day 1.

Even though I was more tired today, I spoke better because I did not have to concern myself with other issues. =D My mind was more or less cleared up. I think. Also because I focused my energy on this issue's research.

Pretty enjoyable. All my council mates are like-able. Compared to iMUN last year.

MUN is a gathering of people who act and try to be important, yet aren't important. =D

We are not doing it for the interest of enrichment and education, but for personal glory, NOT the aim of the United Nations. Everybody wants an award. =D Lol. Instead of promoting international security, we're being noobs.

Sure we feel important act important, but no we're but midgets on the global scale.

And yeah this is just a cynical view on the issue. I'm enjoying myself thus far.

I think the highlight of today in MUN was moving into DEFCON 1. =D We caused problems. Major problems. But the secretariat got back at us with the new developments in crisis pointing at US spy planes flying over Africa to get info. Lol. OOPS.

Big deal. Thank goodness when MUN was over. Tired, and tiring.

_____________________________________________________

The PROPER highlight of the day was dinner with Noel and Dorothy, where we had loads of fun. I enjoyed myself. I think it was extremely relaxing after a day of stress. :D

And then back home. Relak. Going to sleep already lah. Damn tired. =D

But I am going to catch up with Brandon Ang first! YAY!

Ok bye. =D

Jem

when the roof caved in and the truth came out, I just didn't know what to do...

Love never fails.

2010-06-01T23:03:00.003+08:00

I guess I haven't been the greatest of sons lately. Nor the greatest friend. Nor the greatest MUN USA delegate of SC. Nor the greatest volunteer at the children's home.

I'm so so so tired. I look at my schedule and think about how dumb I am.

I have so many things to handle. I'm overcommitted. I do no justice to my delegation of USA. But I'm no quitter. I'll finish RMUN and finish it well.

I have a ton of homework to do. I have things to prepare for. I need to buy TSA locks because USA customs only allow those. I need to buy enough long sleeved shirts for GYLC. I need to change money. I need to start on my assignments now instead of wait till after GYLC.

I need to practice my PDS drills. I need to do homework NOW because I will knock out everyday after PDS from 8-6 in school. I promised a team of 12 that I'll be there for them, from 8-6 almost every day on Friday through to next Friday. 6 days. 60 hours. I'll train and guide them and show them how PDS is done. As a team. And I'll have no energy to do anything else afterwards.

To think I even wanted to be one of the secretary generals of IPMUN. Mr Gavin Ang seems to know me better than I do myself. This feels loser-ish. I'm a Deputy Chair and I feel quite relieved to be honest. That I largely only need to handle the events on-site during conference unless Theo wants me to do anything else.

I don't even know why I'm posting. I have MUN to research on. I don't know if I can struggle out a resolution tonight about the issue. I guess I have to. Woots. I wish I could concentrate more energy here onto MUN. =) I guess I post because I want a record of my thoughts and stuff. It's important to me. Oh and get lost if you don't think any of my thoughts don't do you justice. Don't flame me I don't need it. Just get lost. I'm super duper tired though I hardly did any physically strenuous exercise today. Oh boy.

Ok let's start with yesterday. Chinese O levels. I guess I did alright. I regret the post on my wall to give people ice-cream should I get a distinction for Os. Got 53 likes. Feels kinda stupid. If I get a B3, I'll be rather disappointed I couldn't do better. I'd rather buy ice-cream for 53 people and get an A, trust me. I think I'll be carried out onto my street on my parents' shoulders if I get a distinction lol. I'll be a hero.

Then went cycling. With awesome people. It was a damn good relax session. To chill off after studying. I just hope my studying actually paid off. Did 40km, got dirty and ugly but we had a lot of fun and we enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. (: East loop in the rain, in the dark and pretty much everything against us including time, allowed us to have the time of our lives. =D Then back home for MUN research. I got MacDonalds for dinner by the way. Managed to coerce Mum into allowing it.

Then MUN today. People were out for the kill. I'm going to draft a reso about the nuclear arms stuff, hope I can do so without too much difficulty before I just knock out on my bed tonight. Then today was rather draggy. Not much fun and stuff I guess. We create the fun but I'd rather not do it in my council who will not appreciate it one bit.

Then I went to the children's home to do my bit for the community. Made new friends. Owe 3 lollipops. Helped a few kids with their studies. I think I learn more from them then they do from me. Met couple of volunteers including Deon, Asyraf and Toh. Some people are so dedicated. I swear when I finish my studies I'll be back.

That's all for today. We'll see how things develop tomorrow.

________________________________________________________

Arguments really suck. Quarrelling like kids sucks.

Being childish sucks.

I learnt something today.

That even when you feel like shit. Somebody out there feels worse.

If I do things without love. I am nothing but a noisy gong.

Love never fails.

Love forgets past problems. Love moves on.

Love holds strong in times of trouble.

Love is able to lend a listening ear. Even when love is in pain itself.

Am I love? I wonder.

When do I get to break down? When do I get to take a breather? When do I get to rest and say hey I need a friend too. Or am I perpetually Mr. Strong One who will be the support than require the support?

Just wondering. Because today. To be honest. I felt like quitting. Like last week.

It is SO difficult. The kids can be extremely trying at times.

But this is what I have to say.

Love never fails. And because of this. I will never fail them.

Jeremy Ong is not a quitter. Jeremy Ong sticks to what he does and Jeremy Ong does it well. If not, Jeremy Ong won't have started to begin with. Jeremy Ong will fight to the end. Jeremy Ong does not give up. Jeremy Ong will ensure that all is well before leaving.

And Jeremy Ong needs to pray.

His love that knows no reason. What more mine?

Love never fails.

2010-06-01T23:03:00.002+08:00

I guess I haven't been the greatest of sons lately. Nor the greatest friend. Nor the greatest MUN USA delegate of SC. Nor the greatest volunteer at the children's home.

I'm so so so tired. I look at my schedule and think about how dumb I am.

I have so many things to handle. I'm overcommitted. I do no justice to my delegation of USA. But I'm no quitter. I'll finish RMUN and finish it well.

That's all for today. We'll see how things develop tomorrow.

________________________________________________________

Arguments really suck. Quarrelling like kids sucks.

Being childish sucks.

I learnt something today.

That even when you feel like shit. Somebody out there feels worse.

If I do things without love. I am nothing but a noisy gong.

Love never fails.

Love forgets past problems. Love moves on.

Love holds strong in times of trouble.

Love is able to lend a listening ear. Even when love is in pain itself.

Am I love? I wonder.

Just wondering. Because today. To be honest. I felt like quitting. Like last week.

It is SO difficult. The kids can be extremely trying at times.

But this is what I have to say.

Love never fails. And because of this. I will never fail them.

And Jeremy Ong needs to pray.

love that knows no reason.

Schedule

2010-06-01T00:38:00.002+08:00

This is my schedule for June Hols

1-3 June RMUN

4 June PDS

5 June Saturday

6 June Sunday

7-11 June PDS

12 June FLYING OFF

26 June TOUCHDOWN.

27 June Church

28 June Back to school.

I'm a noob. Enough said. I have no energy to blog tonight.

Tomorrow then. So tired after today.

And look. I'm so busy. :O Oh no.

Commitment = sacrifice.

Jem

Not by might nor by power but by the spirit of God.

Telempath

2010-05-30T22:51:00.002+08:00

I would love to be a telempath.

It's someone who can read feelings (and only feelings) from someone else's state of mind without needing to interpret facial expressions, words and the lot.

Oh boy.

Tomorrow's my Chinese Os. I'm going to sleep soon.

Considering I slept like 2 hours just now I'm pretty tired lol.

But blogging is compulsive. Hahah.

"Blogging is for fags." - Some dude.

Ok I don't mind having such a label. For now at least. =)

I'm full the whole holidays. Beat that.

__________________________________________

Went for flu jab today. Forgot to say I'm left handed. Oh well.

Let's see how Chinese Os go then. :)

Church was fine, then had lunch and then slept then studied then piano-ed then dinner-ed then back to study and then now going to sleep.

I'll do my best and leave the rest up to God.

I'll need a miracle.

Nothing much else to say.

Bye then. :)

Jem

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. - 2 Tim 4:7

End Times

2010-05-29T01:20:00.003+08:00

Hey my dedicated readers/stalkers (I know who you are)

It's the end times.

Train crash

Plane crash

Oil spill

Volcano

Yeah I'm quite certain it is.

Well. Better stop messing about with my life then.

Anyways.

Yesterday. I forgot to post. Heheh.

Nothing much lah yesterday.

If you must know I was exhausted after 8 hours of duty straight. So damn shack.

But anyways I even went to IB open house and I think I've confirmed my intended subject combination to be CMEp. (ask if you don't understand what I mean) But thinking about it, SAF needs Hokkien HL. Hmm. May need an external tutor for that. Or an ahbeng teacher, which actually doesn't exist to be honest.

Then CS-ed with Bryan for a bit (yeah I'm into a bit of post-exam gaming, though I honestly should be preparing for O levels). Then slept.

This morning like woke up and went to school. Watched scouts drill, did some filming. Had fun lah. Hahah didn't do much of the procedure part. But I should be quite familiar with it lah. Thank goodness. Going for GYLC helps too because they write RESOLUTIONS THERE. OMG. Yay I'll fit in comfortably. Lol.

Ok then that's that. I have nothing much else to say.

Had Chilli Crab for dinner. Predicting a massive explosion on the toilet bowl in 24 hours or less.

I have to clean up my room, it's getting filthy. =)

______________________________________________

On another note. A more sensitive serious sombre note.

God takes as He pleases. Yet we should praise Him. But if I were to be taken, what would people say? How would they react? Would I be missed? Does it matter?

I don't know. I honestly don't. I just wonder. What would my eulogies say? Would it be nice memories and good things, or would it just struggle to pick them out when they think about how I've sinned, how I've been mean, how I've insulted, how I've picked on others, how I've been unfair and biased even when I'm not supposed to, how I've not lived up to my name in so many ways, how I am over-committed in so many things, how I have failed.

How would you remember Jem?

I'd like to know.

Jem

oh to see the dawn, of the darkest day

Christ on the road to calvary...

Of Presidents And Prefects

2010-05-26T21:22:00.002+08:00

Well I guess today WAS a good day. Can't really denied that.

But again, a lot of mixed emotions.

First the day started off alright with duty. =) I managed to escaped the filming at the space-frame thank goodness. Had lessons as per normal, did a couple of weird things like return a bottle to a Year Director because a student from his year had dropped it.

"Sir, I found this at the spaceframe after assembly." (spaceframe is where the year 1s stand)

"Return to lost and found!"

"Err...but...sir. It was at the spaceframe so it's probably a Sec 1 student's."

"Ok thank you." (takes bottle from me)

Ok. That had me feeling kinda weird. I could have not bothered and returned it to the front office but then I'd have felt even weirderer. :O It's amazing eh.

Run around run around. Complete tasks and errands.

Then went for recess. Yum.

Then back upstairs.

Then hi-ho silver and away for interview. I hope I didn't embarrass the good reputation of the school. The Open U people said I did a good job. But I'm not sure myself. I spoke like a babbling fool at times where I was lost for words. =( Haiz. It's on CAMERA SOMEMORE AND ALL THE BRITISH FOLKS ARE GOING TO BE WATCHING AND LAUGHING.

Anyways what really got me thinking was this. After the interview, the Open U dude found out I was HP. So he wanted to ask me another question and mike me back up and all.

Then they decided not to. Why? Because later on, Tim Singham, the OVERALL PRESIDENT of the school would be having an exco meeting and they could meet up with him after that to ask him questions.

Now, I'm not some power-hungry, prestige-driven fool who likes to busk in glory and everything, but I think it's really nerve-wrecking sometimes the way I tend to view myself. Tim is my good friend, and I love to see him in the limelight, because he's just so cool. I do look up to him for being SO outgoing, something that doesn't come to me naturally. I'm the quiet type who can get on a high when time calls for it I guess.

Well so back to where I was, Tim IS the President of the Student Council, but I didn't know the Prefectorial Board was 'under' him too. It doesn't upset me. I see the board as the little brother of the Student Council, and we work together instead of having silly family squabbles. I have never once thought any less of Tim than I ought to.

But I guess it's always given me a feeling inside that I cannot place. Standing next to Timothy and listening to him get praise while I seemingly "fall in love" with a walkie talkie. It doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel nice. Honestly, I'd much rather talk to Tim (he was joking in his speech for you jokers who still think otherwise). But sometimes it's just as if there's a spotlight on Tim. And I'm right out of it.

Nobody would feel good I guess. I wonder if that will happen with Scott and me as well. Scott is really nice, just like Tim, and I don't need the damned limelight, to be true to my nature and role, that I'm not in it for glory and honour. So back to the original rant.

Why does it seem like we're always in the shadows? Is the Prefectorial Board fated to be like that? Being a Prefect is equally prestigious as is being a Student Councilor. Yet we always seem to do the Sai Gang, and a lot of the time, Student Council gets to run the show. Making us look as if we did, almost nothing? I guess this was one of the reasons why I originally was not keen to work with the Student Council.

And I'll tell you what changed that: Timothy Singham. He was what changed my mindset about Student Council totally. Yet now, I can't place my feelings on this one. I don't mind not being asked. I really don't.

Why kick up such a fuss then, Jem? I guess it's because this needs to be changed before it gets any...worse, so to speak. We work together, not over and under. That's what makes ACS(I) special. That's what makes us unique. I don't really want to complain out loud, so it is something I'll humbly accept for now, but I would like to see if we could treat the Prefectorial Board as equals to Student Council. That's all I really ask, and I'll be satisfied.

In a nutshell.... it's nothing personal anyways, I really don't mind, as long as I get to do what I love with the people I love. I just hope that sooner or later, ACPB and ACS(I) Student Council can be in perfect harmony with each other, and that everyone in ACS(I) is able to see both on equal terms, and not one any more important than the other.

That's all I ask.

_____________________________________________

Sorry for ranting.

Back to chronological order. NE Quiz took me 10 minutes. Or less. I answered all truthfully as I deemed fit. Then we left for the Science Centre. Science Centre was alright. We're not the only groups doing service learning there. It's going to be so damn difficult to get SL up and running. :(

Just today, about 200 people signed up.

WTH. How to do a proper service learning like that?

"There are more volunteers than visitors."

Weird, no?

Anyways the highlight of the day was after the Volunteer Induction Programme where we got to look around the science centre. We had a whole load of fun. =D

We got into this theatre with no-one else inside and we watched this old man talk. It was HILARIOUS coz we could make comments as we pleased inside the tiny theatre. Me Titus and Daryl.

"We should take a picture of this. 3 losers in an empty theatre watching another loser talk."

Well whoever said this didn't use "loser" but the "D" word. Basically it was hilarious. We had a whole load of fun. And we also know the Science Centre almost inside out now =D Whoo.

Ate together and talked rubbish together, enjoyed Titus' and Daryl's company. =D

Then back home. To rest.

And I'll (try to) sleep early tonight. PTM tomorrow.

DUTY YAY FINALLY AFTER MANY MOONS OF NOT DOING HR DUTY WHOO.

Ok bye folks. By the way, this is just my thought and feelings. I hope no-one is or gets offended by whatever's here. And I just want whoever reads to know what's going on in my life, as much as I can say. Hope you guys understand where I'm coming from.

Jem

I take delight in life's simple pleasures. Anything that gets my adrenaline going. Anything that makes me feel pumped up.

Hollering and Tutoring

2010-05-25T23:10:00.002+08:00

Hey. =|

I really don't know what face to put.

Can't really place how I feel now.

Today was a good day I suppose. We all took good care of the feeder school students. They really made all the late nights and planning worth it. Nothing more fun than making noise with a bunch of rowdy kids. =D

IPMUN was alright I guess. We've got the show on the road. I hope my prefects can catch on =\ Haiz. Kinda shouted at the Y3s today, and I regret it. So many other ways to have gotten their attention I suppose. =(

Then IR was quite intense. =O Of course Daryl Bryan and I all jacked each other, taking turns to. We're just all so tired always during IR that nothing much can be learnt. I hope the set of papers I got are doable enough so I can practice before Monday. I'll try my best.

Gosh. I think it's time I get back to work. =(

See you all soon.

Jem

Posting Regularly Again

2010-05-24T23:17:00.002+08:00

This is post 925. I'm 75 away from 1000.

Heh.

We're doing last minute prep for the JSPS Visit tomorrow. Little kiddies if you're my stalker, I'll tell you tomorrow's going to be extremely enjoyable.

Well today was quite a good day I suppose. The highlight was getting distracted across the LT during Chinese Intensive Revision. It was too intense luh. -.-

Well I've been getting busy. Stayed in class to do my KPA today mainly. Reminds me, I have to print it out. I did 1300 words. I always do more when I type than when I write. Don't know why.

Wasn't in too good of a mood the morning part. Bryan saw through of course and I tried to cheer up. Sorry I think it rubbed off on Daryl too. Drank teh ping but still knocked out during the little free time we had. =|

The battle's coming. Heh. Been sleeping pretty late. Should try and sleep earlier. It's almost midnight now. Hmmph.

Oh well, take care folks.

Jem

hotel, motel, Holiday Inn!

Blogging and such

2010-05-24T01:38:00.003+08:00

Hey people

Realised I haven't been blogging much. Sorry =\

It feels good to blog again. But I don't know what will happen. Will it turn all emo again?

People who read my blog recently decided to read from the beginning and yes, I admit, I was a terribly depressed person. Now, I do a stock-take on my life. I'm good. In so many ways. And yet, something's still void.

It feels weird sometimes. I haven't blogged for a month. I always seem so happy on my blog, but really who am I faking? I'm so happy in real life too, but who am I faking? Let's start with today. Mum got angry at me for not wanting to eat lunch with her when I wasn't hungry. How reasonable is that? So guess what? No family dinner. Something I looked forward to after weeks of not having one.

I guess I'm also blogging so I can resume getting into this habit again, for the sake of GYLC and so I can keep on blogging. Because I want to record down all good and bad memories so I can look back and smile both ways. And I have neglected this place for too long. It's been FAR FAR FAR too long.

I look at myself. I'm so busy all the time. Work work work. Did IPMUN, Prefects and NCC all at the same time just now? Did it feel good? No, it was a nightmare. Who, again, am I trying to joke? I even was thinking of being Noel's DSG! How mad can I get? I can barely manage Deputy Chair-ship and a brief portion of the MUN, how can I be a DSG. Good heavens.

Let's talk about what I did in recent weeks you haven't heard about. Firstly, I have been sucked back into RMUN. I've been chatting with a few people with my limited worldview about USA's stance on nukes and on the issue of Yemen. I do fail as a SC candidate and I have a whole strong team to work with. I am NOT going to let my delegation down. I have to do my research...alas! I can't. Not now at least. Maybe 31st May 8pm onwards.

I also am embarking on a PDS 'Camp' so to speak for my NCC juniors. 8 to 6 everyday for like 5 days. It isn't cool. :( I don't need any CAS/CIP hours. But is that my motive? No it isn't. If CAS/CIP was my motivation, I'd be a bad leader, a sucky one at that. I do it because I love it and I hope to instill the same love in my cadets as I do for PDS myself.

It is 2am now. Why do I bother blogging? Because I love to, I always did, but I dumped this aside to be busy with other things. What a regret.

I hollered at the Sec 1s during an assembly a few weeks ago. It made me feel extremely unpopular. But Prefects, isn't a popularity contest. Prefects, is about maintaining a high standard of discipline and being a role model. No matter what. And hollering at the Sec 1s sure did get the job done, but there were other ways. I'm sure there are another 1028017329233698362419 ways of doing so.

I'm now volunteering at Chen Su Lan Methodist Children's Home. I'm not allowed to disclose anything, nor am I allowed photos. But I daresay, it has been heart-wrenching and very touching, and eye opening too. It has shown me what it means to be 'back to basics' and shown me how simple life really can be. And how BLESSED I am to be in my position today.

I served at Aldersgate Service yesterday. With new friends I made and people who looked so familiar and I found out why. I hope I can keep in contact with these people. They really are so nice and God gave me a chance to meet them. Which I will use to the best of my ability.

I always try to bear in mind that. That everything I do is for Him alone, and then I find some motivation to do it. It's not easy coming from me. If I had a choice, no one would be allowed to do what I did again. Holding two senior appointments is nothing still compared to what I'm doing. It's really so difficult. I'm not complaining, I'm just sharing with you my thoughts. I want you to know that I draw strength from God and you should too, and I will work for His glory tirelessly. It's not easy, but who ever said it would be?

I also have been doing pretty okay in school. Things have been getting hectic. I have done up some projects like JSPS Visit but all in all, I've neglected most of my schoolwork. And I don't think I should either. But let me tell you this: my results came out much better than expected and I did pretty well comparatively to most others. Here they are:

Lang Arts - 76%

Chinese - 57%

IHS - 81%

Chem - 87%

Phys - 74%

Bio - 71%

A Math - 63%

C Math - 82%

I'm not too proud of only A Math. I do wish I had done better. I was oh so careless. But it's God telling me something. I will work harder for my EOYs. But if I still can't make the cut, there must be something the matter. God is probably telling me that Maths is just not for me, no matter how good I am with numbers, or how fast. I know I don't deserve some marks, like IHS, for which I wrote a pile of turd.

I have gotten Jodi Picoult's new book, House Rules. I like it so far. It's been pretty good for me too. Lucky these few weeks were just exams and stuff. This is rather de-stressing, blogging is. I have also been playing Condition Zero again. It's good to play, takes away some worry but only temporarily. I haven't played much though, if you can see my busy schedule.

People ask if I'm running for student council? Yes I am, I want to serve the school in my humble means. But I have some other things with my vested interest in, and they are things at stake. I want to serve and I know God is calling me to serve, but I hope I can see how in due time.

Thanks for reading so far if you have. I love blogging as much as you love reading (I hope).

I haven't started on NYAA, my sorry soul has reminded me. Mr Azmi is really so nice to me by helping me and stuff. I hope to kick start soon. I also wanted to go Scuba Diving with some friends but my paranoid parents said no. It's alright, I don't blame them, I robbed them of $7000 already.

Well and if you really want a summation of everything, even though things look like they've been going pretty well, I'm a damned good actor. Things are so busy, yet I hold the fort up so others don't die out either. I'm so tired to be everything, yet I try my best.

It's not tough to be a leader. It's tough to be a good one. And a responsible caring loving good leader is one who sticks it out with his men, through thick and thin, the last to sleep first to wake up, and definitely the one to hold the fort so others may have the motivation to keep on going. For me, if you are a cadet or prefect or somehow or another under my charge, just know that these are some of my pains. Don't take them to heart, because I'm supposed to stay strong for you and that's exactly what I'll do.

Things haven't been working out well. I've been constantly so busy. And to be honest, nothing much has been smooth sailing for me now. Ever felt the longing for someone you could tell things to without worry? I think about it. I had a fall-out at the beginning of this year. How did I feel? I cried my organs out. It upset me to the ends of the earth. And now I have no idea who to trust. When I walk into my neighbourhood or when I have time to daydream, this is what I daydream about.

Who do I trust? How do I trust? Bryan? Lenz? Daryl? They all have their own things to worry about, I don't even want to start. Next moment I'm talking, then they have to rush off for this, for that. Even Lenz, who I wish could be my best man in the future. He's got Os to worry about. Who am I to transfer my worry to him?

I turn to God, it seems, that He is my only answer all the time. I've asked for a friend to talk to humanly, but all I seem to get is God. My prayer is still the same, and I call out for God, but I wish I had someone I could be frank with at all times. It serves some help to be honest. I might as well have you know that fall-outs aren't the sweetest things in the world either.

Call me foolish, but my soul still searches for the Best Friend that I never had and never will have. Because I believe in true friendship. And I believe that BGRs should have nothing to do with this.

The small things make my day. The loving juniors. Edwin. Nic. Jon Ngiam. Yet sometimes they seem too busy with their own things to have time for me. I can't complain either. What would that make me? A spoilt senior? Ha-ha. Who ever thought of that?

I have physics lesson tomorrow, not to mention a pile of homework. And I toil tirelessly. And I seem to be never good enough in my folk's eyes. The school holds me in high regard, that you cannot deny. Yet when it comes to things like Scuba Diving, I'm not responsible, not old, not mature enough. When do I grow up?

If I'm irresponsible, what does that say about the system then? They chose the wrong dude? I sure hope not.

Thanks if you've just been there to support me or make my day in some small gesture you did. I really do appreciate it. Thanks also if you've read this far. Typing for 30 minutes straight gives an adrenaline rush like no other. Ok...maybe I am exaggerating.

Well I guess I have nothing much else to post now. Maybe a song. Oh well.

I should go to sleep soon. It's 2.30am. Yes I feel good still. I hope I can keep on blogging like this. I hope I don't sound too emo. It doesn't matter if I do anyways. It's for me to read. But for you to read too if you want to. =) I'm fine with it.

Before I end, I just wanna share with you about some things that will drastically change at the end of this year. I am going to miss a lot of things. I think about it and I feel like crying sometimes.

I will bid farewell to ACPB. When I think of ACPB, I think of myself as a member. Whenever I try to put things into perspective, being the Head Prefect is really difficult to imagine. I remember looking up to Henry when I was in Sec 1, and knowing the prestige that came with it. But if I work for prestige, the board will be in ruins. I come with a heart of service. Waiting to be directed.

I also bid farewell to Lenz. One of my closest buddies undoubtedly. It pains me a lot to know that Lenz is leaving and as much as I would like to remain buddies, I hardly believe that we will. =( Such is fate. Nevertheless, I will miss Lenz much and as I look back on the journey we have shared together, a teardrop forms. Lenz truly loved me like a brother, I cannot thank him more.

And as strange as it may seem, when I first talked about Student Council, I shunned all opportunity to work with them. But now, I will miss all of them dearly. Meeting them has been my greatest honour, from Timothy Singham, Tim Lim, Alex, Cheryl, Shireen, Jun Yan, Colin, Kyle, Davin, Jia Shun. I have only learnt from them much. And I will take these along to work with Scott and his gang of lovely people, I hope.

And it is with a tinge of sadness I let go sometimes. But we all have to let go. I ask myself, how did I let go? Yet I did it, and I had to, because how could I cling on to something that was already non-existent? Friendship is, after all, two ways. And it wasn't any old friendship. Oh well. Time for bed.

A pile of work to do. Still. Come on. Let's get hyped up again. =)

Jem

all we search for in this world is some love

That.

2010-04-14T23:12:00.003+08:00

Well well well. Isn't it late.

Let's cover what I've missed out on all this while. 9 days.

Ok I remember distinctively going for a 10k run last week Monday April 5th but did not post about it. Anyways... Did not finish. Bleh. 8km and stopped, took a shortcut, WALKED back home. Did in 1:04:00 or something.

Wow. 7 minutes. Not bad. I stopped at a bus stop for 4 minutes because I tried to run off a stitch from YCK MRT to the side entrance of NP, but fail. So in the end did only 8k.

I have evaluated and found 5 vital mistakes:

1) Did not pace my run. I think I ran a bit too fast for the first 3.5km.

2) Ran on a heavy stomach. Ate a big meal at 4.15 and ran at 5.30. Oops.

3) Did not warm up. No stretching whatsoever.

4) Did not have sufficient rest the night before (less than 6 hours)

5) MacDonalds, Pizza, Mogu Mogu and other sinful treats the whole Holy Weekend.

Fail. Ok never mind.

Let's talk about other cool stuff that happened since last Tuesday till now:

1) IOC Prep. Murdered myself doing IOC prep. Laid off all work to focus on it. In the end it went ok, got Elephant, spoke for long enough.

2) Council Meeting on Tuesday. (=

3) Wednesday NAPFA, not bad. :D Tennis C Div finals, WON YAY! :D Cheering was funnnn.

4) Thursday home to prepare for IOC.

5) Affirmation Ceremony Rehearsal on Friday. WOT. Major WOT.

6) Saturday: Affirmation Ceremony itself. WOT, but got to see my cadets. Heartening. Happy Swim-Against-Malaria. And birthday to Dr Yong and Jem Lim.

7) Sunday: Church and HOT WINGS. Which were TOO HOT. Stomach ache. (still suffering)

8) Monday: IOC went well. Rugby B Div. Won 8-7. So proud of them :D And the prefects who cheered and the students who cheered too. :)

9) Tuesday: Firedrill. Quite fun to participate.

10) Wednesday: Interviews. Went well.

11) Things coming up: Returning #1 tomorrow. Friday training. Saturday Fusion. Sunday Church and piano. Monday cycle repeats.

Gotta start studying.

Hot wings messed up my stomach.

This is a very disorganised blog post.

Jem

Larry The Lion! :D

2010-04-05T00:18:00.002+08:00

I left RMUN already because it may clash with Year 3 Camp. But only may.

Maybe not.

Ok I'm posting at 12.20am. Going to sleep soon.

This Holy Weekend has been rather spiritually refreshing.

Went to Bryan's place to hang out on Friday, no pictures though, camera low batt (loser Jem).

Then Saturday was spent sleeping mainly. And raining.

I did my chinese homework. So nothing much.

Well I have A Math but that's due tomorrow and I have time to complete it and discuss as necessary.

IOC assessment starts tomorrow.

I need to start revision for that too.

I'll be sleeping early tonight but I doubt I will be doing so for the rest of the week.

Anyway, I think I have to rearrange some things on my schedule.

Back early tomorrow to MUG for IOC. :D No joke anymore.

I have no idea why I just drank 1.5 litres of water. I'm going to bed already. I'm thirsty.

I am getting truly happier. I think. :) I don't know why. I think it's knowing that It Is Well. =D

Jem

oh the wonderful cross

Maundy Thursday

2010-04-01T23:28:00.002+08:00

Today was Day 3 of GEP Camp. Much better than Day 1 and 2 I think.

Soccer was honestly a big bonding session with fellow Y4s and get-to-know the wee-little juniors xD hahah. they're all so hyper. run around all the time while we seniors hobble around like 80 year olds.

Watched My Fair Lady. Second time watching, still find it funny =D

And then had Quiz on UK. VERY insightful and interesting. :)

Then finished more or less.

Went off to watch Green Zone.

Then bought my metronome.

Then back to school for Maundy Thursday service.

It was a nice service, very quiet and a very empty sanctuary, but peaceful and refreshing. (=

Got some brainwaves about ministry in ACS(I). :D

And now back home.

Have Good Friday service tomorrow, gotta go sleep soon. :) Besides, planning to run tomorrow morning. :O

Jem

this the power of the cross

Running and Camps and Busy Weeks of school

2010-03-31T20:00:00.003+08:00

Hi everyone, apologies for not posting so long.

I had withdrawal symptoms last few times but it's ok already. (=

Let's update you. Last week was T2W1 back at school, it was MURDEROUS already. :O

I couldn't do much besides work and sleep.

I ran ONCE, 10.5km, 59m52s

I ran AGAIN today, 10.5km, 57m00s. (= Dropped timing by 172 seconds. Whoo. :D

Cause there was one more green light this time. LOL.

___________________________________________________

Some highlights of last week, not in chronological order:

1) SL is STILL cock-up. We got rejected, desperately looking for a second group to work with.

2) Went for Affirmation Ceremony training on Friday. It was a lot of slack time though (not unexpected). Really make friends with the HQ-goers.

3) Mr Tan's lesson demonstration. Epic win. The jokers in class playing with the screen then Mr Tan allowed people to film the demo down, so if you watch DC's video, the screen is going up, down, up, down. SUPER FUNNY!

4) I quit Lee Suan Yew already. Too much on my plate.

5) I went for Track and Field finals, got pulled into 2 events, got a BRONZE medal. Some people are not happy with 3 golds. I am ELATED with 1 bronze, just to put it in perspective. Haven't won a Track meet medal since P4 (Thoburn 3rd 4x100). This time it was inter-service.

6) Went for Fun-O-Rama after Track and Field Meet. (= It was quite ok lah, got like 3 hours of walking around, ended up only buying 1 t-shirt and some notebooks etc. Then left for tuition.

7) BEFORE going for Affirmation training, drew number 1 (= Looks nice.

8) Helped out yesterday for GEP mind games, kiddies are fantastic. (= it was quite fun I guess. Made friends with some of the sec 3s.

9) Last friday was CORP TEE DAY OMGOMGOMG. Ok.

10) TGM was quite the success! (= It was a fruitful meeting and it went very well.

11) Found a computer game online which distracted me for a good 2 hours till 1.30am one of the days last week. (Thursday if I'm not wrong)

12) GEP Camp Day 1 was quite epic. The British High Commissioner came, in his jaguar with the flag on it and all. SUPER NICE! EPICCCCC! Then we had keynote and Q and A. Then after that was prep for the panel discussion and finally had mind games as mentioned in #8.

13) GEP Camp Day 2 was not as epic. Panel discussion was so-so, then after that Wushu was SO TIRING that I fell asleep during the not-as-interesting portion after that. Accidents happen. Sorry people who put in so much effort into everything. I appreciate it still. I just don't understand why SOME people get special treatment. And all those who bullshitted that their legs were injured, you guys really should think about it.

14) Tomorrow there's soccer during curriculum time for 3 hours. -.- When we could be studying or prepping for IOC. No offence, but I only just realised its relation to the theme of GEP Camp...I guess it's decent, some stress relief.

15) My IOC is Week 4 monday. Something epic happening the day after...guess what. xD

16) Tomorrow is April Fool's Day. Don't do anything TOO stupid.

17) Got 2 As for NAPFA already. Gotta get a Gold!

_______________________________________________________

Tonight, I'll be sleeping at 10 or a BIT later only. But EARLY. Got movie tomorrow, going to enjoy it before Maundy Thursday service. (= hopefully I can stay awake during sermon. Holy Week sermon, usually interesting stuff.

That's all I have. Will try posting a BIT more regularly next time. (=

Jem

seniors humble me, thanks guys (= juniors make me proud, in a good way, thanks guys. (=

ADC

2010-03-20T00:15:00.002+08:00

Hi everyone!

Sorry for not posting for so long!

Been away at ADC.

Honestly, I think I would have preferred going for Prefects' Training Camp.

It was a long hard 4 days, but I earned my Gold lanyard rightfully.

Yay.

Going to sleep now, hopefully running tomorrow morning.

Things happened when I was away. As usual. That sucks.

Don't feel like posting about ADC anyways.

It was miserable. Only consolation was having 10 other ACS(I) dudes around.

Hey Ash, are you alright?

Jem

huh

:(

2010-03-13T23:48:00.001+08:00

I just realised I put a lot of rubbish in my anger here when I was younger. In sec 2.

Bleh.

Mistakes. :(

I hope people don't read and judge. -.-

I took down some stuff which may affect my request to serve in CSLMCH.

Haizzzz.

Piggy Bank

2010-03-13T22:55:00.000+08:00

Saturday.

Day 3 of the YLS.

The girls running for student council probably think I'm some weirdo now. -.- I laughed a bit like a...hyena. Hahah. Big deal.

Anyways then it was over pretty quick, today was very interesting. :)

Then physics.

Then tennis.

Awesomely fun. Can't wait to get started on my NYAA Gold...gotta get those running shoes on and get my money's worth out of them. Oh wait I didn't buy it.

Ok today was that.

Boring enough for you?

Jem

run baby run

Term 1...finish.

2010-03-13T00:48:00.002+08:00

Today was...cool.

I guess.

Went for YLS, not much done lah. I wasn't around for paper setting.

There was a speech today from 8.30 to 10am.

During the speech she said "I know half of you are sleeping already."

I didn't hear it. :O

Ok anywayyyyy...

Then went to HQ for Colors RSM selection.

Started only at 5.

6 of us applied, cut down to 3.

Me and two people. The two were of course the damn onz one lah. They know Daryl Chen from NDP. Need I say more? Hahah. Ok anyways so I may not have been as good as them.

So instead of getting Colors RSM, I got like Reserve Arms Escort. It takes up 1 tuesday (I'm ok if teachers are ok with me leaving early) and 2 fridays (a bit difficult coz training is on Fridays). More likely than not I'll be pulling out lah.

Most of them have training on Saturdays that's why can shiok shiok join.

Ok never mind, good experience. I told myself to just try and not be disappointed. Fail because I was a tad disappointed, but made friends I guess. By saying something extremely stupid yet funny at the same time. xD

Ok that's about all.

Oh you really wanna hear about breakout?

Ok so after that, went home, bathed and left for Esplanade Theatre. Met up with everyone and then went in to the theatre for BREAKOUT! :D YLS day 2 highlight, YAY! :D Hahah it was pretty awesome. Sat with Ben. It was SO FUNNY. Slapstick to the max, yet highly entertaining. :D

I enjoyed myself greatly. :)

Had dinner and back home before 12. :)

And have Day 3 tomorrow and no idea what's going on. :O

Ok nights people.

To be honest, I'm quite upset Term 1 is over... :( So sad. Well, always have next term to look forward to. I honestly love 4.8 Apollos, love ACPB50 and erm...kinda love NCC. =D Hahaha. Nah I do. :) And all my friends too. It has been a vunderful term. Enjoyed it greatly.

:) A good rest? Nah. ADC then chiong homework. :D

Jem

to the left

Montueswednesday

2010-03-10T23:08:00.002+08:00

Just because I'm not smiling doesn't mean I'm upset. (:

Monday was fine.

Got back IHS, 14/15. Topped class but I'm quite sure I messed it up. :( Bleh. Now how am I going to craft a proper essay in MYEs.

Bio, 60%. I told myself I'd be happy with that, so I am. :D Will work harder next time.

Nothing special happened today.

After school, went to KK for appointment. My chipped tooth is fine. :D

Ok finish!

Tuesday was normal.

Got back C Math, 38/50. Asked for 2 more marks. xD

Quote of the day goes to a teacher who said "My 333km is to get you to hand in your pracs." Well said!

Today was quite alright. Nothing much more than that.

Wednesday wasn't special.

Today I didn't get my 2 marks for C Math. So stand at 76%, and my average this term is a horrendous 66.3%. Bleh. 33 points. Will do better next term.

Did all my work when I came back, much relieved now.

And then went to HQ for briefing with Bryan after school.

And back home.

Well done Jem.

I got into finals for LSY. I don't know whether to be happy or not, because I'm so busy, yet I feel obliged to do it...hmm. Wonder who my mentor is. I'll just try, hope I don't embarrass myself on stage. :(

~end of my miserable life up to here~

Hahah.

Jem

faithfulness uncalled for

Hey Chem Teacher

2010-03-09T23:59:00.001+08:00

I wrote a song to destress. Not directed at any chem teacher, just did for fun XD

Hey Chem Teacher

Oy, oy, o-o-o-oy,

It’s Chem again, Electrolysis is hurting my brain,
I need to go to the loo, And so I headed there to relieve my behind.
My nice daydream, kena interrupt by the teacher’s loud loud scream,
When the atoms, they collided, I knew deep down inside,
I’m dropping behind…

(chorus)
Hey Chem teacher, it ain’t getting easier,
On the video, I don’t know,
Alloys are my biggest foes.
Hey Chem teacher, I don’t wanna hear a
Lesson again this fortnight

Oy, oy, o-o-o-oy,

The thing sublime, I’m so glad that it is not chloride of lime, tee hee,
This chemical equation, to me has no connection, I don’t deny.
Add in excess, kena something wrong cause me added stress in lab,
I think that it’s true, that dropping Chem is nirvana,
But maybe SL Chem for me next time..

(repeat Chorus)

Well I think I have to mug,
My mind is really going to unplug today,
So tough, give me a hug,
Chem is the last thing I’m thinking of.
Do chem only if you got degree,
I’m sure you don’t disagree,
Then answers correct, guarantee.

(repeat Chorus)

Oy, oy, o-o-o-oy… sad life…

XD

sunDAY

2010-03-07T23:41:00.001+08:00

almost forgot to post. XD

It's late and I just finished POD. :D

Nice. It's nice to slack off the whole week knowing that you only have to do a little thinking in a 994 word essay. Too bad I couldn't do this 2 weeks ago. Sighs.

I can't wait for some heat to die down then I can get back to my usual self.

Term 2 is coming. xD Lol notice it's not holidays are coming.

In term 2, gotta spend less time here and more time studying and prefects will get busier and I intend to get involved. :) Got Chem Coursework, IOC etc. But I will not over-stress myself. :)

Ok piano and all was good today, improving. :D

Church was rather draggy.

I wish there was a Youth Service...more...relevant to us.

Ok anyways gotta sleep now.

Tell you more funny things, got loads, when there's time!

Jem

happy birthday moses

Friday, Saturday, Saturday and Sunday

2010-03-06T23:46:00.002+08:00

Hahah.

I went to HQ this morning to watch my Part Cs perform. We may not have been the best. But we did our best, and we worked together as a team. Proud of them :D We're going to be even better next year, I'm confident of that.

Guess what song played when Dad drove me down the road (he insisted hahah)?

I gotta feeling.

It was a SIGN. Hahah.

Ok nevermind only a few people will get the joke.

Then finished at like 1 and went home and slept for 3 good good hours.

Then went for Physics, a schoolmate just joined xD

Then tennis was pretty fun.

Then home sweet home. =)

Yawnn. Going to sleep soon.

Oh the post title is just random. Today was Saturday.

Jem

The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever.

Week 9 can go and die.

2010-03-05T23:59:00.003+08:00

Tuesday to Friday.

I studied Bio. No joke. Didn't come here. Though I checked my FB profile.

_____________________________________

Ok Tuesday. Let's see what happened.

School was pretty average.

Except PC was on stress management. We got 10 minutes to sleep and ended up half dazed greeting our CT/PCT then back to sleep thru to halfway of next lesson (so paiseh).

Then lunched with Mum then went home to cram bio. Fail.

Spent 3 hours on Chinese HW...

Ok Wednesday. Let's see what happened.

School was also pretty average. Sealion came though! :)

That was the highlight of the day.

Went for LSY audition. Just did what I could pull off.

Went back home to study Bio.

Slept at 3 after done studying 2/4 topics.

Ok Thursday. Let's see...

School was also pretty average.

Had a briefing after school then watched the FSD team. I think their teamwork was inspirational. :D Then back home and studied Bio too and done.

Ok Friday. Let's see.

To school. Average also.

I think some teachers are really unhappy with our class.

Went for NCC, Part Bs were awesome today. :D So were FSD. :)

Then finished NCC, dinnered early and back home.

Have to do over the weekend:

-POD

-IHS

Have to do next week:

-Tie up Y2 Camp

-Prep for Spec Cse

Gonna be a nightmare. :O

I don't have anything much to post about lah. This week wasn't fantastic. Busy like mad, didn't throw in any posts, even this one is short so I can sleep early too. Gotta be in by 8 tomorrow, waking up at 7, it's already a luxury.

Oh yeah. Tests. and Results

Ok so far only Lang Arts 7, the rest 5s and 3s. Hope C Math comes back alright.

Physics was a 5.

A Math a 3. Failure in MCT.

Lang Arts 7

Chinese JUST 5. (60%)

Chem 5 (bleh, thought i'd do better)

Ok never mind. Bad experience. Learn from it.

____________________________________

Oh yeah. I'm swimming against malaria. Gotta show face too anyways =D

I think I'm much better than I was a few months ago.

For those who don't know, I had a retching problem. My appetite went downhill.

Stress induced. Nowadays, my appetite recently came back for breakfast (so eating again), and much hungrier now. Better. No retching too.

I'm much better, I've been trying to avoid overworking myself and a balance to counter the thingie and it's working. All good.

But still, all things not very bright or beautiful eh.

1am. Gotta go sleep.

Jem

most important thing in the world is friends, not work

Founder's Day

2010-03-01T21:24:00.003+08:00

This was the most fun for me lah. =) Look like secret service. xD

Ok let's start from Sunday.

Went back to school.

Helped out the parade markings, hung out with the seniors who were dota-ing with the scouts.

Then dinnered then back to relax a bit, unpack and stuff.

Then juniors came, fall-in, brief, bathe, sleep.

We check them, then ourselves bathe and sleep.

I got bitten by a mosquito the whole night. So uncomfortable.

Woke up at 4.45. Back to sleep. Woke up at 5am. :)

Then inspected cadets (I was the only clown in PE attire since I didn't wanna sweat in my cerems too much hahahaha) then checked bunks then breakfasted then brushed teeth then they formed up then I went for duty.

Daryl's and Nikhel's parents all around to watch parade. I wished I marched. I wished my folks came around to watch too (even though I didn't win any award).

Duty went smoothly. Arranged everything, then waited in boardroom with all the other guests. Then moved down to witness the march in. After that I got cue that GOH was turning in, so moved to roundabout to await him and then moved off to the dais for salute.

Then installed flags, sung national anthem and pledged (I sang terribly poor Guest of Honour) and then inspected the NCC contingents, then back for marchpast then finish!

Then up to boardroom then waited a while then moved into Audi.

Choir sang Bee-Eee-Eh-Utifully today. :D

Then up the stage to assume seats. Gosh.

I share with you something. Sitting up there. Ensuring you don't look tired when you are, and getting a spotlight beaming on you is extremely pressure. What's not pressure is having everyone stare at you. Hahaha. Who cares (no shame).

The ceremony went alright, then down to the foyer for reception.

Woots. Then finished and changed back out. :) Then changed into corp tee, packed up and then out for tennis cheering.

Tennis didn't go too well, we lost :( People said I looked sad. Actually, I was just tired. I was a bit disappointed that we lost but oh well... :O

Ok then now I'm back home, finished marking interclass papers in like 3 hours mwahahaha. Then compiled finish already. Then now I should do chinese homework.

Bio is only on Thu or Fri so I HAVE TIME TO STUDY. YAY! :D

To be honest folks, I am shack.

Actually, I was shack since 1pm, but I wanted to support my bro (and the prefects).

So yeah. :D Now more shack.

Will do some Chinese work (and slack) then KO. :D

Nights people.

Good job prefects on wonderfully executed HR duty and Cheering.

Good job NCC Landers, on excellent parade performance.

And last but not least...HAPPY 124th FOUNDERS DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jem

you know what's scary. You are. Hahahaha. Yeah you.

Sunday! :D

2010-02-28T16:31:00.000+08:00

hi.

Church today was wonderful. :D

Choir sang beautifully. Except the last hymn, there was this piercing irritating high pitched voice which sounded like a guy straining badly. :O

Ok anyways Jeremy Lim's family came over to our church and he did too hahah but only for lunch.

And then hung out a while. The UYO people were in already. :D Nice. Chester is in already.

I'm going back at 5pm. :D

Will be there by 5.30pm. Time will fly. :)

Ok yay. The BMW is in too. =D

Cheers

Jem

The remainder of Saturday

2010-02-27T21:36:00.004+08:00

Went for physics tuition.

Mum refused to pick me up so I went for din-din myself and then bought stationery supplies.

I saw a box of 10 correction tape refills. SO CHEAP! :D ♥ ♥ ♥

So I bought lor :D Nice.

Hahah. And then bus-ed home and walked a far distance in today. Just for kicks.

Mum's on talking terms now, good thing.

And I'm gonna sleep early. But not before chilling out first. xD

Jem

better.